Three Roses Minnesota

Blissed. Out.

2012-01-28T19:54:00.000-06:00

Rose #3 and I had a wonderful mother/daughter day today since H went on Rose #1 and #2's ski trip. We went to Rose #3's ski lesson (at Mt. Como) and then to lunch (Jimmy John's, I'm afraid) and then...to Happy Nails!

I was going to get my own pedicure and then decided it would be more fun to watch Rose #3 enjoy her time. She loved getting her feet washed...

And she loved her massage chair...a few times she actually relaxed...

This is the near final product...I should have waited to take the picture until the nail tech painted flowers on each and every one of her toes!

I had to give Rose #3 a piggyback ride to the car since her nails weren't dry yet...and she kept her little foam flip flops (which I threw away later).

I didn't get a pedicure until I was about 25. Rose #3 has me beat by 80%!

Welcome Two More Redeemers! (And Farewell Tooth.)

2012-01-22T19:13:00.002-06:00

Today we welcome two more redeemers! My niece, Olivia Walker Gray, and my nephew, William Michael Gray, born January 22, 2012, weighing 2 lb 10 oz (Olivia) and 3 lb 1 oz (Liam). They were a teeny bit early (born at 30 weeks) but they are healthy and their mom is healthy and we are SO. DARN. RELIEVED! Pictures when I get them!

One more piece of news, just slightly less dramatic than the first: Rose #3 had a wiggly tooth! She bit into an apple and 24 hours later the tooth was gone. Here she is in her jack-o-lantern-like glory:

Could we be any happier than to have new babies and one fewer tooth, and so many other blessings?

A Lifelong Ambition, Fulfilled

2011-12-25T13:56:00.000-06:00

I have always wanted to make homemade bagels. Now I have:

They were delicious for Christmas luncheon!!

Merry Christmas To You

2011-12-25T06:56:00.001-06:00

What should I tell you about? The fit that Rose #2 threw right before we had to leave? She didn't want to wear her black clothes (king's page) under her white clothes (Heavenly Host). "It feels weird..."

Or Rose #3 marching right in to put on her costume and twirl and charm all assembled, including the 5:30 Mary (who Rose #3 kept calling "Jesus," and then saying, "I get mixed up!")?

Or Rose #1 gamely putting on her children's choir/graduation gown and white stole?

Or me, sitting in the pews watching it all and being brought back to when I was a little girl, doing the exact same thing as my daughters are doing now?

Merry Christmas to all of you. I hope you are all having a wonderful day of family, good food, and even a few presents.

If It's December 23rd...

2011-12-23T19:20:00.001-06:00

It must be the Christmas pageant rehearsal at church! I remember in years past feeling like I had just barely been able to escape work. One year I even met Aunt Brenna at the door at Unity; she had been nannying for us for the week and the end of her week was delivering the girls to the pageant rehearsal. I remember she looked distinctly relieved when I finally showed up!

Anyway, this year we have Rose #3 as a Heavenly Host (if you look very carefully you will see that she has candy cane tattoos on her neck):

We also have a repeat appearance as a King's Page. Rose #2 is a page to the Green King this time (last year she was purple):

Rose #1 is in the Children's Choir. No photos of her today since the choir doesn't have to come to pageant rehearsal. Such is the passage of time that Rose #1 stayed home during the rehearsal, most of the time with H but also part of the time alone while he ran errands. I remember when Rose #1 was one of the cherubs, a 4-year-old with her Guppy sitting proudly in the pews at the 5:30 service. Sigh.

This year I am not the parent chaperone in the Heavenly Host room at the 4:00 service. I am the parent chaperone with the children's choir at the 4:00 service. I am OK with change, truly I am. As we were waiting for the group photo of the pageant case I heard Rob, our minister, describing to someone how one year he changed the script of the pageant at the very end. There is a little bit of a prayer at the end, and the final words are "The Work Of Our Hands, Establish Thou It." Rob changed it to, "The Work Of Our Hands, Establish Thou The Work of Our Hands." This caused much angst - you just don't change the pageant. I guess sometimes you have to change the room in which you are the parent chaperone, though.

Rose #3 and I Went Shopping

2011-12-19T20:06:00.003-06:00

Sometimes you just have to take your girly girl shopping for a new Christmas dress...

As we were trying on all 5 candidates in the dressing room, I got the idea to show Rose #3 what she looked like in each of the dresses! And then I had a memory of watching the movie Clueless where Cher takes Polaroids of herself each of her outfit concepts to see how they look. A star was born (in purple):

This one was my favorite (since it is a Christmas dress, after all, and it came WITH the cardigan):

I like the little cap sleeves on this one:

This was Rose #3's pick...can you tell from the way her eyes cut to the side in a flirtatious manner?

In the end, we compromised on this one, and somehow this is the picture that ended up looking the blurriest. A pity, but cute even though blurryish:On one hand, Rose #3 really doesn't need any more dresses. She has a number of very cute ones in her closet. On the other hand, it is very nice to be able to get a new dress at Christmastime. We are lucky that we can do that.

Still Here

2011-12-19T12:42:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I get just overwhelmed with sadness about Guppy's death, and then the thought of writing about anything is too overwhelming. That happened in mid-November, in the midst of my optimistic attempt at NaBloPoMo, and then I just couldn't stand to even pull up my blog for a few weeks. Why is grief so unexpected and sudden and all encompassing sometimes?

But we're still here, never fear. I have a treasure trove of pictures from Christmas dress shopping with Rose #3. Do you remember the movie Clueless where the Alicia Silverstone character had to take pictures of her potential outfits to see how they might look? That's a preview of the photos that await you. Rose #3 found 5 - yes, 5 - potential dresses and I gamely took a picture of each one in the dressing room at Herberger's. Which Rose #3 got confused and called Burger King. You had to be there, I guess, but it was funny.

More to come. We're still here. We're still grieving and sad. I'm told that I'll be that way my whole entire life. Can't wait.

Tired Thursday

2011-11-17T21:05:00.005-06:00

Don't take too long brushing your teeth, or Rose #3 might fall asleep on you:

And my little reader, Rose #2, actually took to her bed when requested and is reading a storybook:
Rose #1 (Hat Hair!) is the lone rebel who is not in her bed yet:
We had all three Roses' conferences over the past week. Rose #1 is a very earnest student. Her reading level is very advanced, and she works hard in math and excels in phy ed. Rose #2 got high reading marks as well and is advancing as a mathematician. Her Visual Arts scores were her highest scores. Rose #3 is a big, big helper in kindergarten. She is doing so well on her reading: she knows all the sight words on the kindergarten wall, and tonight she filled out a counting sheet on which she counted to 100! (I love how little kids make their 9s backwards. So cute.)

I am always relieved when conferences are over and everyone is on track. Are the teachers evaluating us at the same time they evaluate the girls? I don't know how they can help but do that. I certainly would, in their shoes. We have really been blessed with excellent teachers so far, and this year is no exception.

When Left To Our Own Devices...

2011-11-16T20:12:00.004-06:00

We did fuse beads last night!

Mine is the car (boring). I wanted to use the square, but I was outflanked. I didn't think I could top the brown dog - isn't is clever? The star and heart were already in use. Sigh. Fuse beads are actually pretty fun, whichever shape you get.

Rose #2 kind of guilted me into playing with the kids last night - why I didn't post actually - and it made me reflect that I hardly ever do actually get to just sit down and play with them. My mother never played with me either. Now that I am the mom, I guess I understand: I always, always, always have something to do - laundry! Picking up! Making lunches for tomorrow! Work work! I guess my mom always had something to do times 7; mine is just times 3. Plus working full time. Maybe that equates to 7.

An Old Photo of Flowers

2011-11-14T21:18:00.005-06:00

I didn't take any new photos today, but I came across this old one on my camera from April 10, 2011:

On the one-year anniversary of Guppy's death my entire extended family provided the flowers for church. They were absolutely gorgeous. They were, um, rather large - we chipped in quite a bit of money all together and got a lot of flowers. Here are the Roses and me posing with the flowers at church:

And lest you think it was all peaceful and reflective, in fact, this is what most of my life is like ("Don't twirl by the flowers! You'll knock them over and break them and send a bunch of water and dirt over the altar! Stop! I told you to stop twirling!"):

It's funny the way that time goes by. For the longest time I could hardly even bear to look at these pictures on my camera; I rolled past them a bunch of times when I was looking at which photos to post or to delete. I am finally able to look at these and remember that day - and just think, if I am able to take out and process memories of the one-year anniversary of Guppy's death, in another decade or so I should be ready to process the actual day she died! This is real progress, my friends. When they tell you that everyone grieves in their own way, they are absolutely right. Why should I be surprised that I am a total weirdo in this when I am also a total weirdo in so many other areas of my life?

Back from Vacay...

2011-11-13T20:01:00.005-06:00

Oooo,I missed posting last night. That's because we were in Wisconsin Dells, and there was no wi fi at the hotel, at least no wi fi that we could easily access. So now I'm catching up. We went to a water park at Wisconsin Dells, where the Three Musketeers suited up for swimming (this is the first day on our way out to the first waterpark - there were three):

And this is the last morning, this morning, after I made them get out of the wave pool. I didn't suit up for swimming this morning, so I stood on the side of the pool and screamed like a fishwife for them to hang onto the tube! Hang on! Two Hands!! Finally the lifeguard asked me if they could actually swim (I said yes, which in the case of Rose #3 is only a slight exaggeration):
Before we left I was required to make good on my promise to let them play laser tag:
Rose #1 was very serious about laser tag and wanted to make sure her equipment was in working order:
Who knew that H wanted to play too?
Ah, Wisconsin Dells, we hardly got a chance to fully explore you. So many waterparks and resorts, so little time. Perhaps we will return anon.

I'm Getting a Niece AND a Nephew!

2011-11-13T19:51:00.008-06:00

This evening after returning from Wisconsin Dells, H and I went to a sex party.

No, not THAT kind of party...the kind of party where the gender of my brother and sister-in-law's babies was revealed! My brother Eli has known since Tuesday and was able not to breathe a word to anyone. Despite repeated attempts to pry it out of him (by me and others)...

They revealed the big surprise by having Wuollet's bake two cakes. The color of the cake revealed each baby's sex. Here is Baby B's cake:

And here is baby A's cake:

(Here is a random shot of Baby Duncan, who will be the boss of Baby A, the twin who is likely to be born first):
They asked the dads to come stand behind the table with the cakes. Poppy cut the first piece of Baby A's cake:
Here's my beautiful sister in law and Poppy:
And here is my brother with a piece from each cake. Baby A is a girl and Baby B is a boy:
CONGRATULATIONS! So, so, so, so happy about my twin niece and nephew!!!

Wisconsin Dells!

2011-11-11T19:22:00.002-06:00

The Roses, H and I are here in Wisconsin Dells. They have snow here, unlike home. Posting from H,s phone, v tricky. More later!

Asleep on my feet (Post 10 of 30!)

2011-11-10T21:19:00.002-06:00

Can hardly type...fell asleep while putting Rose #3 to bed...rousted out of Rose #3's bed by Rose #1's earnest implorings..."You Have To Post, Mom!"

Fortune Tellers (Post 9 of 30)

2011-11-09T20:34:00.003-06:00

Tonight we made fortune tellers. Rose #1's is "Mr. Know It All." I hope it doesn't know everything, since I asked it 1) if I would be professionally successful and 2) if i would become a Pulitzer-prize winning author. It said "NO" on both accounts. Stupid Fortune Teller.

Rose #3 made a fortune teller too. She decided that her fortune teller was a Taiwanese gymnast. (Um, what?) Here she is posing with it like a beloved child:
And here is just a generally goofy picture:
Fortune tellers are a cross that every parent has to bear. The agony of being asked to pick a color. (Last night Rose #3 whispered to herself: "Red. Please pick red." This is because "red" is the only color word she can spell, and everyone who is anyone knows that the first step of operating the fortune teller is to spell the color that the hapless victim selected as you work your hand to make the fortune teller open and close.) The trial of picking a number, and then another number. The tribulation of listening to the actual fortune ("you are nice," "you are stupid," or unfortunately for me, just "NO").

Tuesday Tribulations (Post 8 of 30! Yay!)

2011-11-08T19:55:00.008-06:00

Tonight is H's class night, so it's just me and the girls. We ate a hurried dinner (hooray for frozen ravioli!) and rushed over to the rec center to vote. Then we came home for cleanup, including showers. I thought it would be a delightful surprise to pick out a (Mommy-style) outfit for Rose #3 while she was in the shower:

It didn't go over very well ("You don't know ANYTHING about FASHION! I am the ONE who KNOWS about FASHION!" Alas, this is true.):
Rose #2 found a mask from her Harry Potter book and insisted that I take a picture of her (for some reason I think that her mouth looks like me in this picture...ah, grasping at straws for a mother whose children do not resemble her in the slightest):
Technically, this picture is cheating. I took it last night after Rose #1 fell asleep on the radiator in my room. Um, ouch. Uncomfortable!
Harrison's classes are almost over, for good! Hooray! You're all invited to the graduation party (next spring)!

Running Low on a Monday...

2011-11-07T21:23:00.002-06:00

The contrast between Sunday and Monday is always kind of a shock. Get up early on Sunday because you want to; get up early on Monday because you have to. Work around the house on Sunday; work at work on Monday. All of my best laid plans and organization that I try to implement on the weekend is out the door by Monday at 5:30 p.m.

This is a wimpy way of saying that I don't have much for you today, no good pictures or pithy sayings. We all went to our respective destinations (work, work, 4th grade, 2nd grade, and kindergarten) today, then met briefly at Monday Night Dinner, then off to appointments and now back home, exhausted in bed. It is 10:30 (really only 9:30 but as we just set the clocks back yesterday, everyone is acting like it's 10:30!). And now it's time for bed.

G'night.

And Now It Is Sunday Night (Post 6 of 30)

2011-11-06T19:08:00.004-06:00

So this pretty much sums it up. How MANY times have I said, "Pick Up That Candy Off the Floor! Or I Will Have No Choice But To Throw It In The Garbage!"? Not enough, apparently, because great Tupperwares of candy keep being dumped out on the floor. Sigh. I have found, by the way, that Smarties can 1) be stolen quite easily and 2) don't have that many calories. Shhh!

We are all looking down the face of Monday morning, and it's not a pretty sight. Especially since a certain someone awoke at 5:30 a.m. and has not napped. I'll give you three guesses about who it is:
Really, we should stop letting Rose #2 stay up until 12:30 a.m. watching Disney XD (JUST KIDDING! SHE DIDN'T REALLY!):
We don't usually let this one out of the house. She gets too darn excited about the most everyday things! Cell phones! Automobiles! Vanilla (flavored) ice cream!
I hate to see a weekend come to an end. Back into the heavy grind...the workaday/schooladay world...

Saturday With the Roses (Post #5 of 30)

2011-11-05T19:25:00.004-05:00

And so Friday turned into Saturday...on which we went to the library and filled up our book bag:
And Rose #3 went to gymnastics (please, oh please, oh please disregard the extremely full garbage can behind her...someday I will learn how to use photoshop or even learn how to compose a photo):

Saturday is also allowance day, and although this isn't one week's allowance (it is several, several), this is what we normally do on allowance day. Eat Sea Salt & Vinegar Pringles and spread out our dollar bills all over the table:

And after the library we did go to the Red Balloon, which is a very nice kids' book store on Grand Avenue. They are so wonderful. They give out red balloons (who would have thought it!) and Annie Barrows, the author of the Ivy and Bean series, will be there on November 19th! We're totally going to go and have Rose #1's copies of all 7 books that we own (so far!) autographed!

It was a lovely day. I love Saturdays!

Friday Night Sleepover (Post 4 of 30!)

2011-11-04T18:09:00.006-05:00

And so we made it to Friday night! The Roses' cousins are sleeping over tonight! The younger cousins are in the basement watching TV (don't worry, they don't get to watch TV all week; they've earned it):

This one is lolling about on the trampoline. She is longish in the torso, which is why her belly button is showing:

Rose #2 called me "paparazzi" when I came downstairs with the camera and scooted behind the column...

And darling Maddie Kay with her long hair:

Rose #1 and Sam are reading "Nate the Great" books in the easy chair:

Aren't they so darn cute? I remember when we laid them together side by side on a blanket on the floor when they were tiny babies. Now they choose to sit side by side and read together. Love it!

Merrily We Roll Along (3 of 30! Woot!)

2011-11-03T20:09:00.009-05:00

Today at school Rose #3 made me a special surprise. A secret book! Can you read it below? ("Mommy and Me Secret Book")

The book is for Mom and Rose #3 Lin (OK, my whole anonymity thing is wearing a little thing, but still...):
In the book, I am blonde and very, very tall. Also I wear halter dresses that go up to my neck and go down to mid-thigh. And my blonde, blue-eyed children are only knee-high to me:
The artist herself actually prefers her Dad:
But she looks very cute when she is done in the shower:
Rose #2 is supposed to read out loud every night for 10 minutes. I would say that she does it about 80% of the time. Tonight she is reading the Chronicles of the Red King:
Here's her closeup:
And Rose #1 gets to play Khan Academy (which is an online math program that Harrison really likes and is willing to bend the "no screen time" rule to let the girls work on during the week):
I know I've said it before, but we are so tired by Thursday night, I am always secretly glad when it's over and there haven't been any terrible tantrums - theirs or mine.

Everybody's Workin' For the Weekend!

Midweek (Post 2 of 30)

2011-11-02T21:08:00.003-05:00

This is midweek chez nous. Three loads of laundry clean but unfolded. We haven't done laundry since Sunday - so that's about right, one load per day. After dinner each night, Harrison and I split up. One of us does dishes and supervises the making of lunches. The other goes upstairs to supervise showers, fold laundry, supervise the picking out of outfits for the next day. Tonight Harrison went up while I did the dishes; here is a shot of him posing with his laundry handiwork:

Looking at this picture makes me realize that we have had this bed linen for approximately ever. I hate buying new bed linen. Here's why: I never feel like I am getting the best deal or that I know what the best design is for my room, my house, whatever. I hate investigating such things as who has the best white sale, what are the trends in bed linens, etc. I hate having too many choices; I would rather have two choices and to make a gut decision to go with one of them. (I am about as far "J" as you can get on the Myers-Briggs type indicator. This is a quality I had in common with my mother. I think it is one of the reasons that we got along so well; our minds worked in a similar fashion in these matters.) So, I keep the same quilt from Marshall's for 18 years. It is rather frayed in spots and coming apart in others. I think we should probably replace it, but I just can't bear it. Another secret you never knew about me that I have now revealed...

Have you noted my hopeful "post X of 30" yet? I am still hoping to post every day on November. Feel free to leave an encouraging comment if you like!

Girls' Night (Post 1 of 30...Nablopomo)

2011-11-01T20:48:00.006-05:00

We are punchy tonight on this girls' night. Harrison is almost, almost, almost done with his graduate degree - thank Goodness - who gets a master's degree when you have three children under the age of 10? Tuesday night is class night. So we do crazy stuff. We move before the flash can go off:

We fail to comb our hair before coming downstairs after our shower:
We hold up Wolverine claws behind our sister's head like bunny ears:
And we guard the top of the stairs with the Wolverine claws as if an intruder was trying to pass:
Hey: Welcome to Nablopomo! I am trying to post every day in November. We'll see how long it lasts.

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T18:52:00.006-05:00

I'm live blogging Halloween...

Only there's nothing to live blog...

In the past 90 minutes we've had 8 trick or treaters. We went all out for the yard decorations this year, too. We got the skulls at Target (that warn you, ominously, not to touch or handle the decorations too much. In my mind, that's scarier than the actual skull appearances.). We got the foam gravestones at Target. Of course we got the obligatory cobweb stuff. Which, what is that made of? I don't know.

Anyway, here is Rose #1. She is Dracula. Courtesy of a very fine face makeup job by yours truly. Immediately after the photo was taken she gagged on the vampire teeth and handed them, spit and all, to me. Sigh. Mom is always the receptacle of garbage and spitty vampire teeth.
Rose #2 is some sort of a skeleton robot. This skeleton killer robot has teeth. If you look very carefully at the mask you can see the human-appearing teeth. That's the scariest part of the costume to me. Who would put human teeth on a robot? Imagine collecting them and then having to WELD them to the robot head.
Rose #3 is a Bridesmaid from the Twenties (the nineteen twenties). This is the term I made up to cover the fact that her costume is actually a thrift store dress and a $3.99 hat from Savers with a little veil that looks like it could have been from the 1920s. Anyway she loves it.
Here's the Crew From Halloween 2011:
If you want to leave a comment and it is that I need to do something about the hostas in our front yard, you can just keep your comment to yourself.

Do You Dress Fashion?

2011-10-25T20:37:00.002-05:00

On Saturday Rose #2 and #3 and I went to Cherokee Park to play. Cherokee Park was Guppy's favorite park, and we went there last year on her birthday also. This year was not so fortuitous. Rose #3 had to go potty as soon as we got there. I am often sort of annoyed when we reach our destination and my child immediately needs to visit the bathroom, especially when the destination is 5 minutes from our house and, since it's October, THE PARK BATHROOMS ARE CLOSED.

I have to take some portion of the guilt, though, as I did not coerce or even remind the Roses to go potty before we left.

So as we were trekking over to the bathrooms to see if they are open, I may have been the tiniest bit crabby. Rose #3, picking up on my annoyance, reflects it right back on me. She eyes me critically and says: "DO YOU DRESS FASHION? NO."

She meant, of course, are you interested in fashion? Do you try to keep up with the latest fashion trends? Do you attempt to look stylish (ever) or (when going to the park on a Saturday afternoon after a full day of housecleaning)? The answer, of course, is that I do not dress fashion....

But Rose #3 does. Proof (she forces me to lay out her clothing on the rug the night before so that she can see if it looks good enough to wear):

Further proof: she makes me take a photograph of the clothes so she can look at them on the camera for further indication of if they will look good.

OK, I may have made that last bit up. But the rest of it really happened!

Happy Birthday Mom

2011-10-22T05:41:00.008-05:00

Today would have been Guppy's 69th birthday. We are hosting a birthday party for her tonight at our house. Is it weird to have a birthday party for your deceased mother? I don't care. Tonight we will gather to eat Savoy's pizza - they have sauerkraut pizza! - to drink wine, to eat birthday cake with pinoche icing (which is kind of yucky, I have to confess), and to play Bingo. I would trade it all for one more day with my mom.

She has missed so many things. Franny's birth, Duncan's birth, Eli and Brenna getting the wonderful news that they are expecting TWINS, Andy losing 100+ lbs, and all the normal day-to-day things that she loved to keep up with. I called her almost every day when she was alive just to chat and go over the events of the day. Things about her grandbabies, things about my job, things about just normal every day stuff. I still reach for the phone when I get in my car after work (I know! I know! It's a bad idea to talk and drive!). When will I lose the automatic reflex to call my mom when something happens?

I will post photos from the birthday party later. Mom, I miss you so much. I wish you were here with us.

Rose #2's Outlook On Things

2011-10-17T18:13:00.002-05:00

Poor Rose #2 isn't feeling well today. She wrote me and her dad a note:

Dere Mommy I love you and Daddy so much I very very glad to have you as a parent you are teching me to learn my maners you tech me when I grow up I have to do a lot of work.

p.s. Do you like my drawing yes or no?

****

OMG, especially the last part. All I have managed to teach my child is manners (sort of) and the fact that when she grows up, she will have to do a lot of work.

I think we need some playtime around this house. A vacation, maybe. How can I swing that? How can I manage that? We could go somewhere close - Duluth maybe? Wisconsin Dells? Anybody have a good close-ish trip idea for a family of 5?

Oh Yeah, The Other Stuff

2011-10-16T20:48:00.005-05:00

You know that scene in Star Wars where Darth Vader is dressed up in his camouflage jammies, and he has to have a light saber battle?

Oh, no?

Maybe they didn't have that scene after all. But WE DID!

I really like how Darth Vader stands in the ready position, just waiting for his opponent to approach:
But wait! There must have been a costume change! Now Darth Vader is a cowperson with sunglasses, a gripper, a necklace, and a need for appreciation (get it - the clapper -appreciation?)!!
Rose #1 was of the opinion that I haven't been posting enough, and she was also of the opinion that I should have had a photo of her from the apple orchard - she was there, after all - and she's right on both counts.

Boy howdy, is it ever time for bed! Have a nice week, all.

Apple Pickin' (And Other Stuff)

2011-10-16T20:38:00.007-05:00

Today we went to Whistling Well Farm, a fine pick-your-own apple place that hasn't been overly commercialized like some other apple orchards nearby. Guppy found Whistling Well and we've kept the tradition going. This is Baby Duncan's first year of apple picking:

There was much scrambling for a place to pose for pictures in a tree. Here's Rose #3, triumphant that she secured a spot:

And Rose #2, smiling very large:
Baby Franny was super happy to get her own apple, even though it was kind of a sour one. She kept making sucking noises, smacking at her apple, and then looking very surprised that it was so sour! Rose #1 is calling her "puckerface" as we sit here.
We tried so hard to get everyone to sit still for a photo amongst the pumpkins. And the SUVs, it turns out. Anyway, from left to right: Rose #3, Maddie, Beatrice (holding Franny), Rose #2 (behind, turning head away), Sam, Kate, Rose #1 (holding Chunky Dunky), and Gus.

It was a good day to be at the apple orchard, if a bit windy. We had a picnic afterwards, really going for that 100% Guppy Approval Factor, but it was very cold and windy. No one wanted to stay long - we just ate and ran, pretty much. Uncle Candle's wedding ring fell off as he was playing football with Uncle Rico, and it fell into the fallen dry autumn leaves. Luckily Uncle Rico was able to find it right away. Uncle Candle wrapped a band-aid around it so it wouldn't fall off again.

Super Glad It's The Weekend

2011-09-30T20:37:00.002-05:00

By Friday we've just kind of fallen apart. Everyone is exhausted. We have a "no screen time, no dessert" rule for weeknights, so Sunday through Thursday night the children look wan and peaked and they spend their time doing things like - gasp! - reading and putting together puzzles and practicing piano and trumpet!

Not Friday Nights. Oh, no. On Friday nights we have dessert! Tonight we had a delicious chocolate pie, thanks to Aunt Boo (who is back on her hair cutting horse after giving birth to Baby Duncan and who came over to give us haircuts).

On Friday nights we also watch TV! The girls are in the basement watching Disney Channel and they will certainly stay there until I have to pry them out of there with a crowbar.

A side note: I really cannot stand kids' TV. In fact, I really cannot stand MOST TV. I have literally no idea what the new shows are this season, and I don't care. I do however truly enjoy watching 30 Rock, and if I had room in my life for one more TV show and I didn't have young kids, I would also enjoy watching Glee. How can a show that is about high school students be so totally inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18?

In the meantime I am exhausted from an awful day at work and a long week all around. Tomorrow we will try to unwind with some fun lessons in the morning (Rose #3 and Rose #2, gymnastics and soo bakh do respectively) and a fun outing with Little Fins in the afternoon/evening.

We Went to a Bike Race!

2011-09-19T21:12:00.008-05:00

Each year H enters the Chequamegon Fat Tire Festival bike race. This year he got into the 40-mile race! Yahoo! So we packed up the car and went to The Hayward/Cable Area (which is apparently the Golf Capital of Wisconsin). We brought our friends and had a grand old time.

On the way up, unfortunately everyone had to go to the bathroom approximately 100,000 times. Here we are on the second stop (it's a 2.5 hour trip) at a Holiday in like Turtle Lake, WI. The Roses found hats to try on and to beg me to purchase. I didn't, but I took a couple of cute shots:

Rose #3 thought her hat was very spiffy. I thought it looked like a jazz singer's fedora:

We stayed at a cabin that we found on Vacation Rental By Owner. It was surprisingly extravagant! It was on the shores of Lac Courte Oreilles (which I am trying to figure out: Lake Royal Ears? Lake Court of the Ears? I am reasonably sure that "oreilles" means "ears"). The back deck looked out on the lake. Here are Rose #2 and #3 enjoying the first morning when it was really quite chilly:

I took a quick shot of the Roses sitting on the fireplace. How cute are they?

On Saturday morning I dropped H off at the starting line at about 8:15. We didn't see him again until about 2!! The race started with 1800 riders at 10:00 a.m. and we were standing at the finish line when he rode across. The girls were happy to see him:

They were also happy to lay on top of this random small house in the parking lot. Rose #2 said that she wanted me to take a picture of her as Snoopy:

And Rose #1 showed her smiley face and her extremely strong abs:

After we got back, H "bonked" which is a biking term for "totally crashed and burned, was completely exhausted and had to go to bed at 7:00." He was right as rain in the morning, made pancakes for all, and we were on the road by 11:00 to come back home.

It was a great weekend! We're looking forward to Cheq '12! You can read about the race here.

The First Day of School

2011-09-06T09:27:00.003-05:00

No cute "getting on the bus" photos. Rose #3 goes right to Discovery Club, which is before and after school care.

Roses #2 and #1 missed the bus. On the first day. I am trying not to see this as a harbinger of an awful school year to come. The bus was scheduled for 8:04. We walked up to the bus stop at 7:57 only to find it had left 5 minutes before.

ARRRRGH. They did look cute walking in to school from the dropoff line though...

The Kids of Summer 2011

2011-08-26T20:07:00.003-05:00

These are the kids of Summer 2011:

They went to daycamp together. They had cheerleading camp together (well, some of them did). They had swimming lessons together. They played a LOT of legos in the rec room (that's the basement, for those of you keeping score at home). They got a few sunburns, despite our nanny's best efforts. They ate a LOT of food - we spent a TON of money on groceries. They went to the zoo and to the park and on picnics - lots of picnics - and they had a lot of fun. It's hard to believe that summer is over, but it almost is. Tomorrow we go to the Minnesota State Fair!

And Baby Duncan Got A Quilt

2011-08-24T20:47:00.002-05:00

After my mom died and I made sure I got her leftover fabric and other sewing supplies, I became the person in charge of making sure that each new baby in our family gets a quilt.

May I say that it is a very, very, very good thing that my cousin's wife in California is a quilter? Although I coordinate the distribution of fabric and collect up everyone's completed squares, she works the real magic of putting all the squares together.

Last Monday night was the night that we officially welcomed Duncan into the family, and his quilt was ready for him! The 4 squares in the corner were sewn by Guppy before she died. The other squares were contributed by me, Heidi, Tonya, Brenna, Charity, Charity (yes, TWO Charities!), Missy, Jean, Karen, Ginny, Abby, Polly, and Cynthia.

And most of all, Jill put the squares together and sewed everything and made it look wonderful! Thank you all for working on the quilt.

We Went Out For Dinner

2011-08-24T20:41:00.004-05:00

Last weekend we went out for dinner, because the weekend before that, Rose #2 asked if we could. I make menus by the week (this is a necessity, really, with two full-time working parents) and so we had to slot in the restaurant outing for last weekend. We also held the outing out as a reward for good behavior.

I like going out for dinner. I don't have to cook. It is an infrequent event for our family, so I get to do things like let the girls have a milkshake!! Here's Rose #2 intently sipping her chocolate milkshake. She had it for dessert. ONLY AFTER she finished her chicken tenders and french fries. I do have some standards.

Rose #3 got a strawberry milkshake. Ooooh, she loved it. Almost as much as she loved 1) going to the bathroom there (3 times), 2) eating french fries off my plate (which I encouraged as I am still pathetically counting calories, and so the fewer french fries left for me, the better. Why didn't I ask them to substitute fresh fruit? Next time), and 3) coloring her kid menu.
Rose #1 was there but not in a photogenic mood. She will be happier at the state fair, which is this coming weekend. I haven't told her yet, but I am planning to get her one of those MPR t-shirts that says "It's 7:01 And the News Is Next." I love it that we're raising an MPR geek.

I Got Me A New Nephew!

2011-08-16T21:29:00.007-05:00

Welcome to our family, Duncan James Peterson! Born 8/16/2011 at 1:52 a.m. 8 lbs, 6 oz, and 21 1/2 inches. We love you so much!

Here he is sleeping in his Aunt Tonya's arms:

And here he is with his already-favorite auntie:
Aunt Tonya does love a baby:
And his beautiful mom, who was in labor for 3 hours and got a wonderful baby out of the deal!
Welcome to the world Duncan. We're so glad you're here!

And One More Rose Got Some Ears Pierced

2011-08-14T20:18:00.006-05:00

Rose #1 has a very expressive face. You can see how she went from nervous:

To unhappy:
To scared-ish:
To exceptionally pleased with herself (and very, very cute to boot):
Even though Rose #1 has technically been eligible for ear piercing for 2 years now, she told me this afternoon that she didn't want to go all alone, so she waited for Rose #2 to be ready. I thought that was so sweet. I always hope that my girls will be friends in addition to being sisters. I still hope that. I hope that they will remember back to days like this and feel really good about them.

I loved this day. I loved going as a family for a big adventure (OK, relatively big, compared to, say, climbing Mt. Everest) and feeling so happy that it turned out well. My memories of having my ears pierced are weird - my mom brought us to a doctor's office only after I demanded that since I was in second grade, I was old enough to handle the responsibility of earrings. I hope we made a different memory for our girls today.

Rose #2 got her ears pierced too!

2011-08-14T20:12:00.006-05:00

Rose #2 was quite brave when she got her ears pierced. This is the girl who one time wedged herself between a doctor's office examining table and the wall because she didn't want a flu shot. She hopped right up into the chair and only squirmed a little while the young woman who pierced ears today at Claire's got ready for us.

I love this picture. This was Rose #2's second ear and so she knew what to expect. She only cried a teeny bit after the first ear and then she was fine.
Here she is all done, taking a quiet moment to breathe. Really, about 15 minutes after the ear piercing operation, her ear lobes weren't even red anymore.
And here's my smiley sweet girl.
I was so happy to bring them for ear piercing today. I just wish that Guppy was here. Why? Guppy wouldn't have wanted to go to Rosedale for an ear piercing expedition. Mostly just because things don't really seem like they have happened to me if I can't tell my mom about it. Stupid cancer and death.

(Nice how a lovely post about a beautiful rite of girlhood passage turns into an observation about death. Sigh.)

The Roses Got Their Ears Pierced!

2011-08-14T16:21:00.004-05:00

Today we set out for Claire's at Rosedale to get us some ears pierced.

My rule originally was that the girls had to be going into second grade. We-ell, how could you look at this face and say no? My girliest girl would have been the only one who didn't get her ears pierced.

We let her. The young woman at Claire's was very good and reassuring. The whole process is very quick and the earrings come preloaded in these little cartridge thingies.

Here she is, all good and done. I really like the little clippies they put in her hair.
Rose #3 chose these little sparkly blue flower earrings. The starter studs are so cute, I had forgotten how little and sweet they look.

Author Pilgrimage #1

2011-07-30T20:22:00.011-05:00

Today we went to Mankato, MN to visit the Betsy-Tacy Society's preserved Betsy and Tacy Houses. It was a really neat day.

On the way down to Mankato, we came across the Biggest Candy Store in Minnesota. It was really neat. There is a GIANT gumball machine that you can't miss when you walk in the store. The girls posed by it (and were pleased to buy a gumball before we left).

Unlike my usual self, I told each girl that she could get a candy and a soda. This was perhaps a mistake. There are about a million different kinds of candy there. We saw ginger chews. We saw gummy rats. (YUCK!) We saw clove gum, which reminded me of the one time I smoked a clove cigarette. (It was disgusting. And "smoked" is probably too strong a word. I took a puff off a clove cigarette. I think I ran and brushed my teeth for like 20 minutes right after.) We saw lots of other candy that reminded me of a friend I had my freshman year of college. Lemon Heads. Pop Rocks. Pop Rocks! Wow! Anyway, Rose #3 was like beside herself with excitement, trying to figure out what to get:
And Rose #2 was dumbfounded with joy and surprise. She told me that when she is an adult, she was going to live at the candy store. The friends we were with said they would visit her. By the way, Rose #2 came out of the candy story with a giant thing full of taffy. "But Mom, you SAID we could get ONE THING of candy!"
After the candy store and a nice picnic lunch in St. Peter, we arrived in Mankato. The way to the Betsy and Tacy houses is not marked. Luckily we had Google Navigation which brought us right to Betsy's House! The girls all posed under the sign. Reggie, our friend, read several chapters of Betsy-Tacy on the ride down. Rose #1 had read the book before, but Roses #2 and #3 had not. It was really nice to have heard the book a bit before we arrived.
After a rather stern docent gave us a tour, we went over to Tacy's House, where it turned out we should have started all along. Tacy had 10 brothers and sisters, and she lived in a tiny house.
Here are the moms by the Betsy's House sign:
Betsy and Tacy often took their dinner out to the bench at the end of Hill street. This is not the actual bench, but it is supposedly in the same place. It is in a nice little grove, with (unfortunately) lots of mosquitoes. We think that when Betsy and Tacy (in real life, Maud Hart Lovelace and her best friend Frances "Bick" Kenney) brought their dinners and sat outside to eat them, there were no mosquitoes. Probably there weren't any trees at that point. Here are the girls sitting on the bench:
And the mommies with Reggie and Rose #3:
Betsy and Tacy had another friend, Tib (Marjorie "Midge" Gerlach) who lived really just around the block. The Betsy-Tacy society does not own Tib's house, but someone put a plaque on the front door:
Here's a better view:
It was a wonderful day. No TV because we were out on an author pilgrimage. After the pilgrimage we drove over to the Faribault water park and went swimming, a great activity for this hot Minnesota July day. I loved reading the Betsy Tacy books when I was young. Now they seem so sentimental and sweet; Betsy and Tacy were just darling little girls who loved each other and were lifelong friends. We should all be so lucky to have such friends.

We want to go on other Minnesota author pilgrimages. Can anyone think of any and recommend them?

The Van Will Be Repaired!

2011-07-28T18:50:00.002-05:00

I know that no one else cares about my van quite as much as I do (and truly, I don't care about it THAT much), but I just have to tell you all that the van is going to be repaired! The damages, while unfortunate and unpleasant from my perspective, do not exceed the cost to total the car. So, we will get our van back! Good as new, or almost. I am going to get it detailed. Who knows what those thieves were up to when they were driving it around? Oh yeah, they weren't just driving it. They were also removing the catalytic converter and the seats and the interior lights and the license plates. Jerks.

On a totally unrelated note, I sure wish the U.S. government would figure out the debt ceiling thing. I don't want to dwell on politics, but really people. Wouldn't it be better to figure things out in a manner that will not cause global financial problems, and then fight later about dealing with massive entitlement and other problems that no one has had the courage to face in 50 years? I'm not in favor of kicking the can down the road indefinitely - truly, I'm not. I just can't stand the thought of further economic damage and uncertainty at the moment.

The Van Is Back

2011-07-23T19:07:00.002-05:00

At 11:00 today I was making chocolate chip oatmeal cookies with Rose #2 and the phone rang. It was a St. Paul police officer calling from West St. Paul, telling me that our van has been found!

I was shaking, literally shaking. The car is in decent condition. The DVD player and subwoofer are gone, the exhaust pipe is gone, the door lights are gone, and there are probably other things wrong with it, but it is drivable. We will have to see if it is fixable or will be totaled; I guess that's our insurance company's call. Oh yes, the plates are gone too. The police officer had to call in to dispatch to let them know that a minivan without plates would be driving back from the place where the car was recovered to our home, so that no one pulled H over. (I didn't want to drive it with Rose #2 and #3 in the car - I wanted to drive the non-formerly-stolen car with license plates home.)

It is very disorienting to know that something that belongs to you was temporarily taken and used by people with bad motives. When the car was recovered it had stolen plates on it; the thieves took off our plates and put on someone else's. Crazy stuff.

I am such a law abiding citizen, even coming in contact with this sort of thing makes me nervous. I am glad that our car is home. Now we're going to have to go about seeing if it is fixable.

Hot. My Inner Monologue.

2011-07-20T17:28:00.005-05:00

It is really hot here in Minnesota. Everyone knows this. Everyone is writing about it. So I won't write about the weather - instead I will write about my paranoid reaction to it.

One: My car isn't meant to operate in this kind of heat. Really, where do they test cars anyway, to make sure that they can operate when it's 100 degrees outside? I hope they test them in like the Arizona desert. Except that would mean that they haven't factored in the humidity. Which is very high. Is it better to drive with your windows open or closed in this heat? What impact does the air conditioning have on everything? Will the pavement buckle on the way home? Am I contributing more to global warming when I drive with the air conditioning on?

(Are you annoyed yet?)

Two: We are running all the air conditioners at home nearly nonstop. Will the air conditioners last? Will they burn out? Perhaps if they burn out, they will start a small fire? What would happen then?

Three: Is it unhealthy for my children to be outside a lot when it is this hot? (The answer is YES. I heard it on MPR. MPR is always right. (This last is not a joke - I really do think so.)) But it's a huge bummer that they're not getting outdoor time when we only have like 15 minutes of summer in Minnesota. Are they sufficiently hydrated? Do they have enough SPF on them? (The answer to this is yes, of course, our nanny definitely lathers them up with enough SPF. It doesn't mean I can't think about it obsessively though.)

Four: We should go swimming since it's so hot.

Oh wait, no we shouldn't. The municipal pool is a breeding ground for THIEVES. (If you don't believe me, read yesterday's post.)

Five: What should we have for DINNER? Even turning on the microwave oven makes me feel really hot. Heating up the kitchen makes it that much harder for the air conditioners (see, e.g., #2 above) to do their job. Maybe we should just go out to eat. Oh wait, we can't - our credit and debit cards were stolen (see, e.g., #4 above).

Is it any wonder that I'm exhausted with such an inner monologue?

Back?

2011-07-19T20:41:00.002-05:00

I've been avoiding posting. Well, duh. Any idiot could have figured that out without me saying so.

We had a trying weekend. Our car and my wallet were stolen. Stolen! From the Highland pool in St. Paul. Unbelievable. We had to do the whole thing where I shut down our credit and debit cards, and we had to close our checking account. We've had that joint checking account for about 15 years, and I am not exaggerating when I say that we pay every. single. bill. from that darn thing. I have been spending a fair amount of my evening time figuring out what bills I pay from that account and setting them up on our new account. No, I will not give the account number to you. Believe me, I hope to never do any of this again.

If you want to feel good and violated, be a fool and leave your wallet and keys unattended at the municipal pool on one of the hottest weekend days of the year. Spend three hours in the pool with your kids. At the end of the afternoon, saunter back over to your stuff and get ready to go. Have an unsettled feeling that you should check your bag for your wallet. Have your husband say, "Um, where are the keys?" and then run out the gate to see if the car is still there. Which it isn't. Then have your 5-year-old sob because the bad guys stole your car. THEN spend 20 minutes on your cell phone cancelling credit cards. Sheesh.

People, never leave your stuff unattended. Just because you wouldn't steal someone's wallet and car keys - and their CAR - doesn't mean that someone at the pool wouldn't do that. Can you imagine taking someone's keys and walking around pressing the "unlock" button, going - I wonder which car we're going to drive home from the pool tonight?

Day 2 of In Between

2011-05-20T12:07:00.002-05:00

I am feeling a little crazy, with not having to go to work until the 31st. Who knew that relaxation could be so stressful?

Things accomplished so far:
1. Yardwork
2. Summer clothes shopping (for children, not me)
3. Rose #1's hand appointment. Very happy with appointment - she is doing really well, and won't need surgery for the foreseeable future, if ever
4. Rose #1's well child checkup. 25th percentile for height! She really is my little Bean
5. Capital campaign scheduling calls

Today I pick up Rose #3 early from school for a Mommy and Me outing. We're going to go swimming at Jimmy Lee.

Best regards to all of you,
Your Lady of Leisure

Day 1 of In Between

2011-05-19T06:28:00.001-05:00

I have a new job! And my old job was over yesterday. I am going to be spending the next 13 days "in between" (which is what my girls call it). Now that I have time to do things like bring the girls to the dentist, and do yard work, I also have time to blog.

More later!

Animal Research. Phew.

2011-04-16T06:10:00.002-05:00

The third graders in Rose #1's school have to select an animal to research, make a 3D model of, write a book about, and generally live and breathe for 3 months.

Animal Research ("AR") is done! Rose #1 selected the gray wolf. She made her own habitat and model (really truly did it almost all herself unlike - AHEM - some of the other kids). She wrote a beautiful book about wolves, which she dedicated to her teacher.

All very, very sweet and cute. I am sorta glad AR is over. Another milestone down. Great job Rose #1!

p.s.: Anyone have any ideas what I should do with a 3D model of a wolf? With evergreen branches and cotton balls?

Rose #2 was a scarecrow

2011-04-09T12:47:00.002-05:00

Front row, second from the left: It doesn't matter that her scarecrow was an AUTUMN scarecrow. You try finding hay that you can send to school with a 6-year-old. At least the leaves were sewn together on a string. Otherwise they would have been totally unmanageable!

By the way, the lovely teacher in the middle is Mrs. Swenson, who was Rose #1's first grade teacher and is now Rose #2's. She is a great teacher with very helpful perspective and advice. She is also a total fashion plate and gorgeous to boot! We really like her.

Still here...

2011-04-07T23:06:00.004-05:00

Tonight I took the girls to the park after dinner. Rose #1 did the monkey bars all the way across for the very first time! This might sound wrong - like it should be Rose #3 or something - but it's not. Rose #1's little hand makes it hard for her to do the monkey bars, but she hooks her wrist over and she finally was able to go all the way across. Way to go!

Rose #2 and I read a Berenstain Bears book (shuddering sigh) and Harry Potter before bed. Reading Harry Potter out loud is really fun. The chapters are too long - J.K. Rowling should have had us parents in mind when she was setting chapter length - but otherwise it is a great read. Rose #1, my daughter who reads at a 10th grade level in 3rd grade, listens to the story too. I love reading to them. I know my days of reading to them are numbered. Going to love it while I can.

Rose #3 put on her kitty cat boots, her fleece, her grubby size 7 too-big pants, put her hair back behind her ears so I could fasten her helmet, and proceeded to ride a tricycle to the park. The tricycle is about six sizes too small, so she kept flailing out of control with her knees hitting her chin. Time to get her a real bike - with training wheels. Poor grubby little urchin.

Saturday at the Science Museum

2011-03-19T20:03:00.008-05:00

Today was a Katy Saturday, so we had to think of something fun and special to do. Science Museum of course! I didn't know that Kate had never been there, otherwise I might have asked her mother first.

She sure loved the musical stairs though!

The Roses LOVED a show about the curse of the mummy, King Tut, which is a big exhibit at the museum right now. Kate was scared of the guy giving the show (he was kind of enthusiastic and loud) so I couldn't get her to sit with her cousins.
Right when you enter the museum is a big map of the world. Rose #3 (who insisted on wearing her tiara!) loved it.

Rose #2 was having a good time, despite the grimace on her face:

And Super Smiley Rose #3 again:

Here's the crew. What a sweet group of girls:

OK, So This is a Cute Baby

2011-03-19T20:02:00.001-05:00

In Which We Welcome a New Family Member

2011-03-08T07:09:00.003-06:00

We have been blessed with a new addition.

Not really.

"Arnold," formerly known as "Buddy," is the class crustacean from Rose #1's class. Rose #1 very earnestly asked me about two weeks ago if I would write a note for Buddy to come live with us after his gig at school was done.

Sure! No problem! Crayfish have a life expectancy of 4 weeks, right? Plus certainly some other mother will write a note, so there will be a drawing, of course. Rose #1 won't WIN. No way. We never win.

Oh, we won all right. Buddy/Arnold is ensconced in our old fishtank now. Yuck. Slimy. Pinchy. Gag.

But Rose #1 is over the moon. Rose #2 wants a hamster. I just want a guarantee that I never, ever, ever have to touch a crayfish!

Sunday Fun Sunday

2011-03-06T20:27:00.004-06:00

We had a lovely playdate this afternoon with Rose #1's very good friend...from daycare when they were just babies in the baby room. All the Roses posed with her today on the couch. When you have a playdate with one Rose, you kind of get a package deal...
Here are the best buds...

And Rose #3, who totally crashed and burned at the end of the night. On the kitchen floor. Right in front of the refrigerator.

MND Fun

2011-03-05T08:25:00.006-06:00

This MND we were treated to a wonderful rendition of "Hey Soul Sister" by the Roses and two of their cousins. Sam was in true performer mode. Isn't the look on his face soulful?

Here's Maddie, smiling into her microphone:

Rose #1, gazing into the distance:

Rose #2, with a mischievous grin:

And Rose #3, the self-proclaimed star of the show:

After the exhausting performance, the singers and dancers watched a video. On the floor. On a phone.

MND Forever!

Rose #3 Had a Great Saturday

2011-02-26T20:34:00.005-06:00

What does it say when your 4-year-old daughter wears more makeup to the mall than you do?

She asked for a bun this morning...and I actually did it! I put her hair up in a high ponytail, twisted her hair around and pinned it up with about a hundred bobby pins:

Isn't it wonderful?

The bun held up quite well all the way to the Mall of America - which WHY did we GO there today? It was an absolute MADHOUSE. Anyway, I digress. Rose #3, her daddy, and I rode the rollercoaster once, then I retired from rides (I think it's happened - I get dizzy on rides now! How can this be?). They rode again, then we spent our last ride points on the carousel:

Rose #2 and #1 were skiing today, so just for a day we felt like we had an only child. It was great (except I missed the other girls...)

Como Conservatory Cousins

2011-02-23T16:11:00.004-06:00

Why do we live in Minnesota? I don't know. (That's not true - of course I know. Our families and our histories are here.) On Saturday it was flat out cold, for the eight billionth day in a row, so I took Rose #3 and her cousin to the Como Conservatory. They have a koi pond amongst the flowers. The pond is so dark, you can't see the bottom. Every single time we go near it, I picture my child tumbling over into the pond and me having to jump in. Crunching a few koi bones under my feet, of course.

Luckily nothing like that happened. We just enjoyed the beautiful lily show. Here's Rose #3 posing by the water:

And her cute sweet cousin Kate (NOT KATY) (the crumbs around her mouth may or MAY NOT be donut crumbs. Oh. Yeah, they're donut crumbs):
It is so blissfully warm and humid in the Conservatory that my camera fogged up. I didn't care. I'm posting this picture anyway.

We are currently smack dab in the middle of stomach flu. I would say "barf" but that would hit a little too close to home. So far Rose #3 and Rose #1 have succumbed. I am feeling sort of sickish myself. Psychosomatic? A byproduct of exhaustion? Or a true stomach virus? Only time will tell.

I am the wax in her ears

2011-02-15T19:56:00.002-06:00

My Valentine from Rose #2:

Dear Mom,

You are the ice in my water
You are the blood in my body
You are the wax in my ears (WHAT?)
You are the cat in my hat
You are the food I'm eating
You are the water in my ocean
You are the Valentines' that I'm writing
Happy Valentine's Day!

Oh When the Saints!!

2011-02-13T19:55:00.004-06:00

Today was Singing Sunday at church, which means that we arrived for 8:15 call and didn't get home until 12:30. That's motherly devotion for you, no? The choir sang "When the Saints Go Marching In," which sounds like kind of a weird song for a Unitarian choir, but it worked. Because it is the day before Valentine's Day, the choir wore red. Here's Rose #1:

And Rose #2:
They love choir. They aren't interested in leaving the house at 8:00 to get to 8:15 call, but they love it once they're there. I can't wait for the day when Rose #3 is in choir too - then all three of them will be singing!

Chalice Lighter

2011-02-09T21:53:00.003-06:00

Rose #1 is a Chalice Lighter. This is a really neat program at church where kids grades 3 - 6 participate in the worship service by lighting the chalice. She was "invested" as a Chalice Lighter a couple Sundays ago. Here she is smiling in the pew after the investiture. She has her Chalice Lighter pin on:

Two of the other girls that went through the program with her, Tess and Gwyneth, possed for a picture next to the, well, chalice!

This was one of the days I really wish my mom was still alive. She would have loved to see Rose #1 invested as a Chalice Lighter. I remember the day that I joined our church as a member; she was so proud and happy.

I have an observation to make about death, or more precisely about the sympathy that people express to you when a family member dies. They say: Your memories will sustain you. Or, Aren't we lucky we had as much time as we had with her. Or, Your mother will always be with you.

That's bulls**t. Memories don't sustain you. Yeah, maybe we're lucky we had that much time, but hell, I wanted more time. And one more comment: aren't I supposed to be able to feel my mother's presence in my life? Like feel her hand guiding me or her love in my heart? I have news for you - I got nothing. A big, fat, nothing.

Cat Bean

2011-02-07T20:53:00.003-06:00

My Rose #1. We also call her Bean. I told her to get ready for bed tonight; to which she immediately replied "No." I told her then that it would be really nice if her response wasn't always "no" when I tell her to do something.

She said that she was getting ready to be a teenager, as if she needs years of practice. She did also note that she was doing her getting ready early.

Great.

A Typical Friday Night Chez Nous

2011-01-28T21:02:00.003-06:00

Rose #3 taking a foot bath...

And Rose #2 dressed up as a Ninja/Borg/Swordsgirl...

Complete with the remnants of pizza sauce around her mouth...

If you want to come over next Friday night, just let me know! We'll warm up the foot bath for you, grab you a piece of pizza, and you can borrow Rose #2's headset.

Part III

2011-01-19T20:49:00.002-06:00

Elapsed Time

She looked up from the computer where, her editing mind noticed, she had already typed five pages. The story was aching to be told, and Cate felt like it was about to burst out of her. She nearly couldn’t bear to rip her mind away, but it was unusual to hear anyone address her as Cate. She was Catherine Chao, novelist and mother. Not Cate, any longer.

When she met the eyes of the man standing in the bulkhead aisle, clutching a ticket and peering at the row numbers, she felt adrift. Unmoored. Completely taken by surprise. When she had seen him last, she was sobbing, and he was speechless with surprise and loss. It took some effort to find her voice, and say his name, because there was no doubt who it was. “Jace? I mean, Jason?”

He broke into an easy smile. His easy smile. “Yes, yes of course. Is that really you?”

She smiled back and held out her right hand. “Yes, of course. What a surprise to see you!” He bent to take her hand, shook it and then dropped it quickly, like he was unfamiliar with the custom.

‘I think I’m sitting next to you,” he said. “I’m so tall, I always try to sit in the exit row.”

“I fly so often, now, that I get assigned here automatically,” Cate said, and shook her head. “I feel so surprised to see you. How are you? I mean, how have you been?”

He exhaled sharply and adjusted his bag and jacket into the small seat. “I’m flying to Minneapolis for meetings. I, well, I’m hardly able to talk. I can’t believe it’s you.”

She nodded and shifted her computer so the words on the screen would not be visible to him. “I’m glad to see you,” she said softly, and smiled. Honesty was usually a good approach. “I can’t even recall how long it’s been.”

“Fifteen years,” he said. “Cate, how have you been?”

She also exhaled in a sigh that shuddered. Then she clasped her hand to her mouth. Removing it, she said, “You know, good. Really good. And also bad.”

He looked at her with his brown, flecked eyes and for a moment she was locked. Just like college, just like fifteen years ago. Then she shook her head once, and her long hair jumped with the motion. He said, “Will you tell me?”

She looked around for a moment, considering. “I’d rather hear what you’ve been doing. I’m sure it’s much more – you know – engaging.” This was not necessarily true, but it bought Cate a few minutes. Time to think, to impose a filter on her brain, to compose her jumbled thoughts.

Jace steadied himself, Cate thought. “Well, you know,” he began. “I just got back to the U.S. a few months ago. Before that I was in Africa for three years, and in France for awhile before that.” He smiled, paused, remembering. “Do you remember – I was thinking that my entire life would be like an extended Peace Corps stint.”

She nodded and smiled too. “Yes, I remember. I remember you talking about it.”

Part II...

2011-01-17T21:38:00.002-06:00

No one threw rotten tomatoes at me, so here's another snippet:

Elapsed Time
...
The first time she heard that voice say her name was over 15 years ago, in freshman honors English at the University of Wisconsin. A large class of 80 students broke out into small discussion groups and Cate, painfully shy and still feeling rubbed raw from homesickness, carefully opened the door to the small classroom where her discussion group was meeting. There was a single table in the middle of the room, with eight chairs around it, and placecards set up at each seat. Catherine Solomon was in the middle on the far side, next to Jason Cross and Lauren Rich. Cate took her seat and nervously arranged her pencils and notebook, wondering the whole time if she shouldn’t have brought her laptop. She did not look up when the boy – Jason – sat next to her. But he quickly tapped her shoulder and said, “Hi. Hi there. My name is Jason. You’re Catherine?”

She stole a glance to the side, and smiled. And nodded, because her voice felt about a million miles away. She looked at him in wonder. He looked old for a freshman class. He was very, very tall – she guessed 6’5”, but she was terrible at guessing heights. He was dark – dark brown hair, dark eyes, and very tan skin. Cate looked down at her own skin and shivered, because she was so chalky pale. She stayed out of the sun, and out of the way of tall, handsome creatures like this boy.

The professor came into the room and handed out a class list and the course syllabus. Cate carefully read the syllabus and was delighted to see that she hadn’t read everything that was required. She was also excited to see the words “Daily Journal Requirements” on the last page.

“A daily journal,” Jason whispered under his breath, to her. He sounded wondering, not disgruntled.

“Cate,” she whispered back. He raised one eyebrow and wrinkled his nose in confusion. “I prefer Cate, not Catherine,” she clarified.

“Ah,” he said, even quieter. “Jace.”

Cate peeped at him during class and half-listened to the same first day speech she had heard in her other classes already. When the professor ended class, she turned her detailed attention to putting her books away. She did not dare look at Jason – Jace – and she felt rather than saw him get up.

She turned to leave the class and was stopped by a large, strong hand that touched her shoulder. “Where are you heading next, Cate?”

“Oh. I’m done for a few hours. I was planning, well, to go over to the union. I am meeting a friend there.” This was not true. Cate had not made any friends, yet, in college.

“Mind some company?” He fell easily into step with her as she left the classroom and turned into the dark tiled hallway. Cate flushed. What was happening? In her not so small high school, no boy ever – ever – gave her a second look. They all knew who she was, of course. Everyone did. She was straitlaced plain old Cate. Never been to a party. Never kissed a boy. It was old news, and she was too scared to be anything else.

“Sure,” she said, all those thoughts and images of high school flying by in a mere second. She looked again at him. “Don’t take this wrong, really, but how old are you? You seem older than everyone else in that class.”

He laughed, and slipped his well worn backpack over his shoulders. He had little round gold glasses that he peered through at her. “I am older, probably, than you. I traveled with my family during high school. We’ve been in Europe and in Africa for the past few years.”

She was instantly fascinated. Cate’s family never traveled. “Why? What brought you there?” She followed through the door he held open for her, and they were suddenly blinking in the bright September midday sun.

He smiled and turned his face to the sky. “What a lovely day.” Then he looked right at Cate. “My father is a missionary. We were mainly in Eastern Europe and in Africa. Then, for a while, in Paris.”

Cate felt utterly, utterly provincial. “I know it sounds so American, but my family hardly ever left the Midwest. Iowa, actually.” As they walked toward the union, Cate noticed that he walked close to her.

“What other classes are you taking, Cate?” He looked right into her eyes when he talked to her. It was not Iowan, and it set her off balance.

She recalled the list she had taped to her closet door. “Honors English – well, you know that one. Honors French. Creative Writing. Women Writers of 19th Century England.”

“Hmmmm. I’m engineering, all the way. Honors English is a requirement.”

She frowned. “I don’t know anything about engineering. What kind of engineer?” She tilted her head to the side, listening and waiting.

“Civil. Someday I am going to construct villages in Africa. Ghana, Cote d’Ivoire. Bridges, wells. That kind of thing.”

She couldn’t think of a response. Crafting stories, her lifetime dream, or crafting wells and bridges. There was no comparison, and no commonality.

When they got to the union, Jace strode confidently through the main hall toward the patio. He called out greetings to several groups of students, a couple professors, and even the older woman serving pretzels and beer behind the counter. Cate fell back a few steps, the familiar anxiety and dread replacing her earlier wonder. When a tall woman with sleek, long dark hair, long legs and carefully painted lips bounded up to Jace – like a horse! Cate thought for a moment – Cate mentally bowed out of the day. Feeling like a kid, she waited until the woman finished her effusive greeting, and then she cleared her throat. “Um,” she murmured, "I’ve just realized I’ve got to get something before my next class. It was nice to meet you.”

Jace turned from Horse Girl and with real alarm in his voice, said “No, Cate, no. Let’s go find a table.”

She shook her head and frowned. “No, I really need to go. I’ll see you later, in class the next time.” As she turned and left, hurrying out of the crowded union hall, she chided herself. Silly, silly, silly.

Want to Read a Story I Wrote?

2011-01-16T15:01:00.004-06:00

So a long, long time ago I started writing a story about a woman who runs into her first love on an airplane 15 years after they broke up. (This is a totally fictional story. It is not autobiographical. OK?) I nearly finished it last summer, and it ended up being really long. Not long enough to be a novel, not short enough to be a short story. It's actually not even all the way done. But I'm going to start putting it on my blog in short pieces for you all (I mean you THREE) to read.

Enjoy? If you like it, leave a comment! If you don't like it, well, shoot. I wish you did.

Elapsed Time

When she got to the plane that night, Cate limped over the threshold, and could barely smile at the flight attendant who welcomed her. But she did smile – Cate was nothing if not Midwestern, and polite. She hated flying, though, and she gripped her red Minnie Mouse phone tight to her ear. “Yes, bunny, I have the phone you chose.” And after a pause, “Yes, I love you. I’m on my way home. I’ll pick you up at Nai Nai’s, but it will be late. You probably won’t even wake up.” Then, after another moment, “Yes, bunny, we’ll have breakfast together tomorrow.”

The flight was full, and Cate knew just where she was sitting. She had an exit row seat – not because she needed the leg room. At 5’5”, she wasn’t that uncomfortable in a regular seat. The need for an exit row seat was driven by her own superstition. If she was in an exit row, it would be a safe flight. Period.

The seat next to her was empty, even though there were only a few minutes before takeoff. Cate carefully retrieved her laptop before shoving her tote under her seat, and she sat down to write. She had a fierce story bubbling up inside, and even though she didn’t like to write on planes, she felt compelled to start typing. Her fingers shook on the keyboard as she gratefully let the words pour out. Typing was strange too – normally she wrote longhand. The feeling of that ache in her shoulder, and her hand curling around the pen meant that she was truly hearing the story and setting it down. Within a few keystrokes, her fingers became more sure on the keyboard, and her mind was engaged. She felt that familiar sensation of tunnel vision, as if her mind was focusing on something very far away but that she knew was there. Her eyes were unfocused and her hair was tumbling out of its ponytail. She was, in a word, transported.

Transported – the reason she had been writing, every day, for every minute she could snatch between kindergarten, nursery school, and chicken nugget dinners, since her husband died. It was a ticket out, a way around, a departure from the rest of her life. Alone. The mother of two little girls. No family, except her mother-in-law (former mother-in-law? Ex-mother-in-law? What do you call the mother of your deceased husband?) who disliked her. Dislike was too kind a word. Cate remembered the first time she met Nai Nai, the way Nai Nai’s brown eyes, which seemed so friendly, like a dog’s, looked her up and down. Cate blushed, setting off her pale white skin next to Michael’s gorgeous olive complexion. Nai Nai turned away from her and said to her beloved only son, “She staying for dinner at my home?”

And so Cate’s brain, long accustomed to switching over into reverie, was quickly engaged. She did not on a conscious level recognize the person who sat down next to her in the exit row, row 23, of flight 3607, New York to Minneapolis. She was typing, typing, typing, and did not feel the person’s eyes on her face or on her body. She did not notice anything until a deep, quiet voice chipped through the writing fog. “Cate?”

Just a Question Here

2011-01-15T06:15:00.003-06:00

Why is that no matter how early I get up on a Saturday to work, and no matter how late Rose #3 went to bed the night before - a sleepover! Her cousins! A movie! Pizza! - she STILL gets up about 13 minutes after I get up.

I confess. I put warm clothes on her, marched her down to our unheated (but finished! with egress windows!) basement, turned on Disney Channel, and told her that if she wakes up her sisters and her cousins, I am going to go completely insane and die.

Really, I just told her to be quiet and watch TV so mommy can work. I don't think that's so bad, given that it's BEFORE 6:00 A.M. on a SATURDAY.

Oh yeah. I should get to work.

A Woman With FRIENDS

2011-01-11T22:23:00.005-06:00

When I think of friends, I can't help but think of my mother. She had more friends than anyone I ever met. At her deathbed, when we were all gathered around her, someone (I think it was my wise sister-in-law Tonya) made sure to call my mother's best friends to make sure they could come say goodbye.

And they did. Her best best friend was there. She supplied the Jimmy Johns sandwiches that the whole assembled crew had for lunch. Three other women showed up too, the ones that my mother met like the DAY she moved to Minnesota, newly divorced with three young, young, young kids in tow. She managed to make best friends with those people the day she moved here, and they saw her through to the very end, coming to bid her farewell as she slipped away from us.

These women were just the top of my mom's friend list. She had church friends, neighborhood friends, friends from her PTA days, friends from the days that she led Girl Scouts, book club friends. When she was rediagnosed with cancer in 2006, she formed four healing circles of 15 people each. That's 60 friends that she didn't hesitate to call to support her as she geared up to heal from cancer. Friends who gladly gave their time and their healing energy, because she had given her time and energy to them. As she got sicker and sicker at the end of her life, we kept encouraging her to cut back on visits from friends, but I think these visits sustained her and she was wise to keep her friends around her.

My mother had a special magic about her when it came to making and nurturing friendships. I wish I had studied it more when she was alive. I wish I asked her more questions about what makes a good friend and how she could befriend anyone - I mean anyone. I remember we went to Easter services at All Souls Unitarian in New York City (in Easter 2009). She made instant friends with the guy sitting next to her. In the middle of Manhattan. On Easter Sunday.

I sure do miss you Mom. Even though I say that I'm not my children's friend, I think you and I came to be friends over the years. That means that my loss was especially keen - a wonderful mother and a wonderful friend.

A Break from Musings About Friends

2011-01-11T06:48:00.000-06:00

Don't you just want to hug and kiss this baby?

Baby Franny, Age 10 Weeks, On The Dining Room Table At Monday Night Dinner

Cousins as Friends!

2011-01-08T13:12:00.003-06:00

Since all of my brothers and sisters are here in Minnesota, our kids are growing up together. We see each other every week for dinner on Mondays, and the cousins have a "cousin council" (which sounds really cute but often causes great intra-cousin tension). Cousin Council notwithstanding, we're being deliberate about fostering friendships between the cousins.

For example, my sister picks up Rose #1 and Rose #2 after school on Mondays and brings them to her house for a couple of hours before Monday Night Dinner. In exchange we take her daughter every other Saturday morning. Here's Rose #3 with Kate at lunch today:

Right before lunch, we broke out the Easy Bake Oven that Rose #3 got for Christmas! The cake that we made was done right in time for dessert. It was actually pretty good! It was a Betty Crocker mix.

I have lots and lots of cousins. Let me try to think - a whole bunch in California, some in Minnesota, some in other places. It's not as easy as Monday Night Dinner, but in 2011, I would like to try to connect more with them.

Falling into Friendships

2011-01-07T20:15:00.002-06:00

A couple of times in my life I have been really lucky to fall into friendships.

Russian class, summer after freshman year of college. I sat across the room from a woman who I just knew would become a good friend. I remember she was wearing a plaid madras jumper on the first day of class. 20 years later, we've been in each other's weddings, seen each other through hard times and good times. 10 years ago, I joked that after our husbands died, we would live together in a house where everything was white, on the beach. (I think I had just seen that Jack Nicholson/Diane Lane movie.) I still think it might happen.

Daycare, after Rose #1 was close to 1 years old. A newly adopted baby came to join the baby room, a beautiful little girl from India. Her mom used to be a lawyer at my firm. Her mom and a few other daycare moms, and their husbands, became a small circle of friends for us while their kids were friends for our kids.

Next door neighbors, a couple years ago. Our kids meshed in with their kids like a pack. There was always someone to play with outside, good for a game of cops and robbers, or girls' club (which consisted mostly of painting nails, in my opinion).

I'm always on the lookout for friends, and hoping to make new ones. Sometimes it's good to remember that many friendships just happen.

We Are Not Our Children's Friends. And Thoughts on Bedtime.

2011-01-05T21:21:00.005-06:00

One thing that has always been an issue at our house is bedtime. Too often I have acted like my kids' friend - giving into their demands about a later bedtime, more snuggle time, "I'm afraid of the dark," "I can't fall asleep without Mommy in my bed," and so on.

I recently had reason to learn a little more about both kids' sleep patterns and the repercussions when kids don't get enough sleep, and that did it. No More Mrs. Nice Guy. I am no longer your friend, Roses. I am your MOMMY, and you're going to sleep.

Of course, real life gets in the way, and I had to send Rose #3 to bed to wait for me to read her story while I helped Rose #2 stay on task to finish her phenology assignment. (You can be forgiven if you've never heard of phenology. No, not PHRENOLOGY (the study of bumps on one's head to predict one's conduct and temperament) but PHENOLOGY (the study of how plants and animals react to seasonal changes). Even Wikipedia says that phenology is not to be confused with phrenology.) PHENOLOGY, people. Right after dinner, Rose #2 dutifully went outside - yes, in the dark, in the snow - to take photos of the bunny tracks leading to the very large evergreen in our backyard, under which the bunnies have a big old nest. Warren. Think Watership Down sans the unpleasant parts. Going out in the snow and dark to find bunny tracks is what you have to do when you have to write an entry in your phenology journal.

An aside: I never read Watership Down. Perhaps I should. Anyone? If it was that or the latest Emily Giffin novel, which would you read?

Another aside: Emily Giffin is living my dream. She used to be a lawyer, now she is a glamorous novelist and her first book is being turned into a movie which will be out next summer. Anyone want to go?

Back to my "I'm not my kids' friends, I'm their MOTHER" theme. I suspected that Rose #3 would fall asleep waiting with her Dora book, and I confirmed my suspicion with photographic evidence, above. Then I tucked her in, turned on her fan (for background noise - am I the only one who does this?), turned off her lights, and closed the door. Phew. One down.

The other Roses are more difficult to settle. I have taken to setting a stopwatch - I do still cuddle in their beds with them - so that it's no more than 5 minutes. OK, 6. Actually, 7. But that's IT. Rose #2 can be prickly - her first grade teacher remarked that she certainly is a middle child - but she went to sleep willingly enough after I gave her the heating pad to cuddle with. Rose #1 and I talked about her strategy for falling back asleep in the middle of the night - deep breathing exercises with a stuffed animal on her stomach (to rock it to sleep and also rock herself to sleep).

Ah. Everyone down.

I won't tell you about how they all ended up in my bed, again, at 2:00 a.m.

Sisters as Friends, Redux

2011-01-04T21:04:00.003-06:00

Sigh. This gem resulted when I asked the Roses to line up on the radiator for a quick cute pictures, Rose #3 tried to "lean on" Rose #1 (you know: Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your FRIEND, I'll help you carry on...) and then Rose #1 told her to stop it, and then the Rose cry ensued (HUGE wide open mouth - see, e.g., exhibit 1 above) and then I couldn't help but laugh a little.

Another thought about friends: Facebook. Yesterday the financial press was all lit up about how Facebook is worth like 800 kajillion billion dollars or something. I wish I had 1) computer programming skills, 2) vision, and 3) thought about friends and the value of gathering all your friends together, having them post updates about themselves, and putting it all on one horribly powerful social networking site about 20 years ago or whenever it is that Mr. Facebook got his deal started.

Do you all have hundreds of Facebook friends? I have about a hundred (keep in mind that my immediate family constitutes about 27 people, all of whom are on Facebook). I have to confess to pulling up some of my Facebook friends' friend lists and staring all agog at the hundreds of names listed there. Why don't I have 355 Facebook friends, or even a more moderate 247?

An aside, not wholly unrelated: I wonder how many people on Facebook are not actual real people but are instead made up and posted just for fun, or for people to try out new identities, or for people to pad their friends lists.

Anyway, I digress. I refuse to worry about whether my number of Facebook friends is too low. I refuse to worry about whether a refusal to worry about such things is something that a junior high student could figure out, not a weighty matter for a middle-aged woman.

Sisters (and Sisters In Law) as Friends

2011-01-03T17:08:00.002-06:00

I am lucky to have four sisters and two sisters in law who all live here in the Twin Cities with me. We spend a lot of time together - we see each other on Monday nights for dinner. We watch each other's kids. We have holidays together. Some of us go to church together. We have all been there to see each other marry, to see our kids dedicated/baptized, to cheer on good news and to mourn losses. I am so happy that I can call my sisters friends.

I earnestly hope that the Roses will call each other friends as the years go on. Rose #2 confided in me the other day that the reason she has such a short haircut is that she wishes she was a twin; having short hair like her big sister is her way of trying to look like an identical twin. Rose #3 sometimes reaches out her little 4.5-year-old arms for a comforting hug from her big sisters when her mom is upset about something (like disobeying me, lest you all think that I am a big old meanie). Rose #1 is often the exasperated oldest but she will sometimes help me, especially with Rose #3, who has complicated clothing and dressup needs that I often don't have the patience to deal with. (Like, I Want to Wear a Summer Dress In Mid-January. I Do Not Want To Pick It Out. Mommy, I Want You To Pick It Out. WAAAAAAAAAAAH! I DON'T WANT TO WEAR THAT DRESS! IT HAS SLEEVES! I Want You To Pick Out The Sundress I Will Wear To The Christmas Party! SOB! SHRIEK!! At this point I often bow out and appeal to higher powers, like my oldest daughter, to talk my youngest one off the Getting-Dressed Ledge.)

I know it is beyond my control, but I want my girls to grow up loving each other as siblings and as friends. In 2011 I will try to sow the seeds to make this happen.

Friends, Again. A Medley of Thoughts

2011-01-02T14:57:00.003-06:00

I've been thinking about friends, since that's the theme for January. Another meaning of the word friends: Quakers. The Religious Society of Friends.

I have a cousin who went to Earlham College (and met the love of her life there). Earlham is a Quaker school. I think that Quakers have a lot in common with Unitarians (our family is Unitarian). They believe in the ministry of all believers, of equality before God (whichever god it is that you worry about being equal before), the light within. These sound familiar to me. One more redeemer, and all that.

Aside: Rose #1 proclaimed very proudly the other day - "Hey, We're Unitarian!" Yes! I hope she continues to feel that way about her religious upbringing.

I digress from my topic: friends and Quakers. I feel sorry that I'm not closer with my cousin who went to Earlham. We're close in age; not in geography (she lives in Colorado). Our kids aren't close in age either. I wish I knew better how to stay in touch with people far away without seeming pathetic, like I don't have enough to do here at home. (I feel worried about seeming pathetic a lot. This may be holding me back.)

My brother and I had lunch a few months ago and I confided in him my I wish that I was in the popular group at church. (Popular! Again with the worrying about being popular!) Now it is quite possible that there IS no popular group at church, but it seems like there is. The overtures I have made to other women at church - women I teach Sunday School with, women who have kids in Sunday School with my kids - have not been very successful. After hearing this my brother, who is younger than me but quite wise especially about all matters to do with human interaction, had a very astute observation. To make friends, you have to seem like you are having fun. You can't hang around the fun people and hope to be invited into their circle: instead, you have to make your own circle of fun.

Here's to making a circle of fun in 2011. I am going to try to do it.

Happy New Year 2011! And, My Comments on Friends

2011-01-01T19:36:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year to everyone. We were at my brother's house last night for a kid-friendly New Year's Eve party (ring in the New Year at 9:00 p.m.) and he wished me a happy 2011, adding that he hoped it would be better than 2010.

I second that notion.

The theme for Nablopomo for January is "friends." I have a New Year's resolution to be a better friend. To initiate friendships. To honor the friends I already have.

I have a comment about kids friendships: I hate playdates. I hate them for lots of reasons. I hate setting them up. I hate when we have friends at our house that I worry endlessly about the child guest getting hurt or sick at my house. What's THAT about? I've told other people about this particular fear and they think I'm nuts. (News flash: I am kind of nuts.) I hate worrying that my kids don't have enough playdates. I hate it when my kids call their school friends on the phone and I have to worry that they aren't going to be polite enough on the phone. I REALLY hate it when they hand me the phone and I have to chat with the heretofore unknown mother of the school friend.

There. I said it. Now what to do about it? I don't want my social ineptness to rub off on my children, although I already see it a bit in Rose #1. Rose #2 told me the other day that she really, really wants to be "popular." God save me from having to worry if my kids are POPULAR. Heck, I'm just going for 1) well-groomed, 2) healthy, 3) polite, and 4) has a friend or two to sit next to them at lunch.

I understand that by writing about one's neuroses, they might dissipate. We'll see if that works.

Guess what Rose #1 wished she got for Christmas...

2010-12-27T20:35:00.004-06:00

On Christmas night we had a spot of sobbbing at our house. You see, Rose #1 has been wanting a Nineendo DS for a good long while, and so far Santa has not obliged. (Exhibit #1 of why: We didn't see her or her cousin at Christmas dinner at all - they were too busy playing DS.) Her cousin has one, and she really, really wants one.

So we have to think about ways that Rose #1 can earn $100 so she can buy her own Nintendo DS. So far I haven't come up with much. It's hard to earn money when you're 8 years old. She'll just have to content herself with playing her cousin's:

Merry Christmas Eve!

2010-12-24T10:56:00.006-06:00

It's Christmas Eve, which means that it's Christmas Pageant day! All the Roses are in the pageant this year!

Rose #2 is a King's Page. She has a very important job as the head purple king's page. She has to carry the train of the purple king. This is a big responsibility. Doesn't she look up to the task?

Rose #3 is a cherub. She has been waiting and waiting to be a cherub, and yesterday she finally got to put on the cherub costume. She is very cherubic.

Here are the king's page and the cherub together. Rose #1 is in the children's choir and doesn't get to wear a costume. We'll get a shot of everyone together tonight at the real live show.

And my niece Beatrice is a green king's page. Isn't it great that she gets to be with her cousins in the pageant this year?

Merry Christmas Eve to everyone! I hope Santa's sleigh lands lightly on your roof tonight and many, many presents show up under your tree.

So thankful...

2010-12-12T06:29:00.002-06:00

Thankful that we have a warm house this morning, when it's -2 and -22 windchill.

Thankful that my oldest baby made it home last night from skiing. Not my best parenting decision ever, to send her to skiing. I honestly did not realize how bad the roads were going to be as the day wore on and we got 15" of snow!

Thankful that my husband's car is a truck, has 4WD and the darn wheels are so high. He made it to the bus dropoff with zero problem last night to pick up our skiier.

Thankful that we had the sense to turn around yesterday midday when we decided (like FOOLS) to go to Macy's to see Santa. Also thankful that we somehow managed to get our minivan unstuck after we got it stuck. It involved me reversing onto Ayd Mill Road (stupid and dangerous) and then pulling over so H could get back in the car. We had our NIECE with us! I had three little girls in the car! I am very thankful we got back home.

Thankful that church is cancelled today. I don't remember the last time that church was actually cancelled due to snow, but I'll tell you that the side streets here in St. Paul are impassable until the plows show up, and our church is on a side street.

Thankful that we did our grocery shopping on Friday night. I'm usually not one of those people who run to the store when there is a storm coming, but I'm glad we did it this time.

Now I've gotta get back to work. I'm speaking this week at a web seminar and I have to finish preparing my remarks. I am thankful for the opportunity to do this speaking gig but of course I'll also be thankful when it's over...

Snowy Saturday...TODAY... BLIZZARD!!...Update!

2010-12-11T11:43:00.004-06:00

This picture doesn't tell the whole story...

It is a veritable blizzard here. We tried to go out with Rose #2 and #3 to see Santa at Macy's and we got completely stuck exiting Ayd Mill Road. So we turned around and barely made it home. It is scary out there - very, very snowy and the driving conditions are awful.

We sent Rose #1 to ski school today, which seemed like a great idea this morning, and as the afternoon wears on seems worse and worse. I'll be much happier when I see her little face coming in the back door. Scary.

Update: Rose #1 is home! A very scary afternoon waiting to confirm she was safe. Thank goodness she got home all 100% fine (and sort of exasperated that I was worried!).

Snowy Saturday...Last Saturday...

2010-12-11T11:39:00.003-06:00

Last Saturday it was snowy. So we went sledding!!

Here's Rose #2 and #3 after sledding, all snowy and tired, so they lay down in the snow.

I dragged them home from our neighborhood park in the sled. It was such a gorgeous snowy day, all sunny and beautiful.

The Roses Sing!

2010-11-24T13:37:00.002-06:00

On Sunday, Roses #1 and #2 sang in service at church. They are in the Children's Choir. Here's Rose #1 in her brand new white turtleneck:

And Rose #2 smiling so sweet and cute:

Please disregard the girl yawning behind her. I don't know how to crop photos, which is probably as obvious as saying "It's Snowing In Minnesota On The Day Before Thanksgiving" or "Gosh, We Have Eight Loads of Laundry To Fold."

It's Snowin'

2010-11-13T15:53:00.005-06:00

No easing into winter this year...it's November 13 and we have a sudden 6" of snow. Just to show that it could, the City of St. Paul declared a snow emergency. Why do I always feel the need to get out and shovel before the snowstorm is over? We don't know why. But we do know that for sure when we wake up tomorrow morning, the plows will have deposited a crusty 12" ridge of snow at the bottom of the driveway.

But I digress. We invited a neighborhood friend for a snowball fight, which ended up being a snowman build. Here's Rose #3 and her friend rolling the bottom of the third snowman:

And Rose #1, with hair down and wet and stringy in her face. We don't care. She's cute anyway. We're going to keep her:
Rose #2 definitely got into snowman building. She wanted her snowman to reflect her true bodily stature, so she had to roll the middle through quite a bit of snow so it would be tall:

Here's the snowman representing Rose #1:

And the finished Rose #2 and #3. I'll bet you can't guess what we used for hair. I'll give you a hint: we won't be reusing the Halloween spiderweb stuff from Target next year.

A good snow day was had by all. The first snow is so wonderful and exciting - I can't help but wish that the sense of wonder and excitement would persist for the next six month...

Argh! Missed Yesterday!

2010-11-07T19:58:00.002-06:00

But I do have a very good reason. Aunt Brenna and Uncle Eli took the kids for a sleepover (not just our kids - all the kids - all the cousins except Baby Franny) and H and I promptly took ourselves out for dinner to Tanpopo Noodle Shop. Now I don't know if I am just too Midwestern and I have a particular constitution, or if I ate too much, or what, but H and I both felt super sick when we got home.

It didn't stop us from watching Cloverfield, which if anything made me feel sicker. When I had that feeling like I should be closer to the bathroom than further away, I went to bed (approximately 10 steps from the bathroom).

WITHOUT POSTING. DARN IT.

Oh well, the point of Nablopomo is to post as much as you can and not to tear out your own hair if you miss one lousy day.

On an unrelated note, I had a great time teaching Sunday School today. I was nervous - my first time teaching an age group other than preschool - but it went really well. The kids were good sports about an art lesson that involved a color wheel of emotions and a discussion of the U.N. Declaration of Human Rights (this was 3rd and 4th graders - next week I have 1st and 2nd graders!).

Wish I could post twice today to make up for missing yesterday.

When You Get Tired of Posting Pictures of Your Own Kids...

2010-11-05T21:09:00.002-05:00

Post one of your niece! Little Miss Franny, sleeping on her Dad's shoulder on Monday night, right before her toast:

By Thursday Night, We're Just Tired.

2010-11-04T21:10:00.005-05:00

Once again we're up late and darn tired. One problem is that I insisted that H read Phantom Tollbooth to Rose #2:

I guess Rose #1 isn't too tired...again wearing the pocket knife and a pair of sunglasses found goodness knows where...I love how the camera flash glints off the sunglasses:

Tonight was school conferences for Rose #2. She is doing really well in first grade. She reads at independent reading time, and she's in second grade math. I am really proud of her. It's been a tough year in school, so far, handling a new school, the loss of Guppy, and transitioning to the demands of first grade. She's handling it well. Good job Rose #2!

Temper Tantrum Tonight

2010-11-03T22:20:00.003-05:00

Told ya I'd post some pictures of Rose #3 tonight!!

Rocky Evening Experience

2010-11-02T22:08:00.004-05:00

Random notes from an evening:

1. I did not buy a pocket knife for my 8-year-old. We had a Halloween party, someone left it, and she picked it up. She is never, ever permitted to bring it to school (as in, would be suspended if she did) and really isn't permitted to actually play with it at home. This reduces her to wearing it around her neck for 5 minutes before bedtime while reading her High School Musical 3 "novel." (We are scraping the bottom of the reading barrel around here. Note to Self: Need to get to library on Saturday morning.)

2. Rose #2 quietly spirited away all the Halloween candy that was left over from trick or treating at our house and incorporated it into her stash. You can see her candy bag on the table in the background. I think she thought I didn't know what she was doing. I remember having similar thoughts - like the grownups just had no idea what I was up to - when I was a kid. But I know, Rose #2. I saw you dump about 50 pieces of Halloween candy into your stash. I'm on to you...

3. There are no pictures of Rose #3 tonight. You just know you are in big trouble when Rose #3 falls asleep at 6:28 on a kitchen chair. Whoo boy. I couldn't rouse her for dinner or anything, and she stayed asleep until about 8:40 when her daddy was bringing her up for bed, at which point she woke up and totally fell apart. Bad news. Somehow I got her into the shower and got her to eat some princess soup (i.e., spaghettios!) before pouring her sad self back into bed. Pictures of her tomorrow!

Finally I Can Post About The Quilt!!!!!!

2010-11-01T21:11:00.002-05:00

After waiting and keeping it a secret for MONTHS or maybe even YEARS, tonight we finally got to give the quilt to baby Frannie and her mom and dad. Guppy welcomed every new baby into the family with a toast at MND and a new quilt. Tonight we did the same and even though Guppy wasn't there it was great to welcome Frannie.

I am very proud of our quilt! My cousin Chris is married to a wonderful woman named Jill, who happens to be a fabulous quilter. Not so very long after Guppy died, I cleaned out her fabric stash with a mind to continue the tradition of making a new quilt for each new baby. I found that Guppy had completed a few quilt squares before she died. The green dog in the center of this quilt is one that she had sewn. I sent it and a collection of complementary fabric to Jill, who sent it back in kits for volunteers to prepare squares.

Here's who sewed: me, Aunt Boo, Aunt Brenna, Aunt Missy, Aunt Tonya, Aunt Charity, Ginny, Katie, Aunt Abby, Polly, and Karen Lanegran. And of course Jill! And Cynthia went through Guppy's fabric and put together sets so we could have a coordinated color scheme.

I know it doesn't make up for Guppy being gone, but I hope this blanket wraps Frannie up nice and warm and lets her know how much we all love her. Welcome to the world Francesca! We love you so, so much!

Don't Watch If You Get At All Seasick

2010-10-31T22:09:00.002-05:00

As I was deleting content from my camera tonight, I came across this gem, starring Rose #2...

Visiting Baby Franny

2010-10-31T21:57:00.007-05:00

On Wednesday night we went to my sister's house to see the new baby in her natural habitat. We weren't able to get to the hospital - for one thing, they stayed only one night! It was a madhouse the night we were there - I think 5 of my 6 siblings and their families were there to visit the new baby. Here she is with her mama:

And Rose #2 loves to hold a baby, just like I do! Massive recurring fear of mine - my child is holding a newborn and gets tired of holding the baby, so just gets up and baby falls to the floor. I must have told Rose #2 like four times to tell me as soon as she was done holding Franny so I could get the baby before she just stood up. I was sitting right next to her the whole time, too. Luckily baby Franny emerged unscathed!

And here's me holding sweet baby Franny. I love a new baby. I must admit that I am pretty glad I don't have one myself - for one thing, I'm getting way too old. We're set with the three that we have, but oh I love holding a new baby...

We had a fun Halloween - pictures tomorrow for Nablopomo!

I Love Your Voice, Mama

2010-10-28T12:21:00.001-05:00

Last night I was putting Rose #3 to bed, reading her a story and telling her how much I love her. She was all snuggled in her bed and looked up at me and said, "I love your voice, Mama."

What a nice thing to hear from my beautiful girl.

Welcome to the World Francesca, Born One More Redeemer!

2010-10-26T21:38:00.004-05:00

We are overjoyed to welcome our niece Francesca to the world and our family! Born right on her due date and with a minimum amount of fuss (or so I understand), here's a picture of one more redeemer:

We haven't met her yet - tomorrow - but we're so happy she's here! Congratulations Aunt Heidi and Uncle Jay and Beatrice and Gus!

Guppy's Birthday Party

2010-10-23T07:12:00.013-05:00

We started the party on a beautiful fall evening at Guppy's favorite park, Cherokee Park in West St. Paul. Here are various shots from the kids having fun at the playground there (and the only picture of Rose #3 is in the car on the way home, because she was too busy making friends to pose for a picture):

Well, AFTER the park we returned to our house for a delicious pizza dinner, of which there were many, many pictures. Sadly I deleted all of these pictures from my camera BY ACCIDENT after thinking I copied them to my computer's desktop. Rats. You'll never see the pictures, but they were cute. And numerous. We had pizza! And wine! And Halloween-sized candy bars! We had a toast to Guppy and lots of comments about how Guppy would have loved the party. Guppy's BFF came and brought balloons for the kids, which Guppy would also have loved.

Guppy, we sure do miss you. Rest in peace.

A Birthday Song

2010-10-21T20:13:00.003-05:00

Tonight Rose #2 wrote a birthday song for her Guppy, who would have turned 68 tomorrow:

The lyrics are:

You are my Guppy
And you no (know) you are
You make me happy
Evere (every) step I take
You never no (know) dere (dear)
How much I love you
Please doet (don't) take my Guppy away
Oh please doet (don't) take away.

And here's the lyricist, who's looking pretty chipper for a sad topic.

Tomorrow night we're going to have a pizza dinner at Guppy's favorite pizza spot, and try to remember and celebrate her in a way that she would have loved - all her family together, eating good food, having fun (and crying a bit too).

Rest in peace, Guppy. I wish you were here. I would have found the best present ever for you. We sure do miss you a lot.

I'll Bet You Didn't Know There Is a Planet Apollo

2010-10-19T20:31:00.004-05:00

Rose #1's first home project of the year was to design and build her own planet! We channeled the spirit of Guppy and decided we would make it from papier mache.

Although you might expect to find a picture of the planet on this website, you would be disappointed. I didn't take any pictures of the planet. I can tell you that she named it Planet Apollo, because there is a lot of music on the planet and Apollo is the Greek god of music.

Maybe you would expect to see a great picture of Rose #1 at her school event, the Planetary Expo, which she worked hard to prepare for. She made a travel brochure, a travel ticket, two solar system booklets, and testimonials from past "visitors" to Planet Apollo.

All you get is one picture of Rose #1, not even looking at the camera.

(In her defense, she had to pay attention to the "customers" that came to her booth at the Travel Expo.)

Here's a picture of a friend that Rose #1 has known since the infant room at daycare, explaining his planet to Rose #1's grandfather:

I mostly stayed out of the way and watched Rose #1 explain her planet and visit the planets of her friends. It is a very nice and vibrant 3rd grade community at Rose #1's school.

How the Day Ends When You Are Age Four And Tired

2010-10-13T21:55:00.004-05:00

After 30 minutes of deductive reasoning homework, which was not mine but rather Rose #2's (in FIRST GRADE, people. I don't think I learned deductive reasoning until like last week.), Rose #3 completely gave up the ghost. She fetched herself a living room pillow and made herself a makeshift bed at the kitchen table:

Here's the shot from across the room, so it can all just seem even more pathetic. Poor Rose #3. She is a very, very tired girl by about 7:45. I can't ever seem to get them ready for bed much before 8:30. So she did it her very own self.

I have to confess that we spent some of tonight watching the news about the miners in Chile. I was riveted by the countdown of the number of rescued miners and the number of miners stll underground. They were truly fortunate to make it out alive. Thank goodness.

They Play Games!

2010-10-11T21:12:00.002-05:00

The Roses have gotten old enough to play board and card games. All By Themselves!

They have a (thrift store) Monopoly set, after a trip to a cabin this summer where there were two Monopoly games. Yesterday H and I were sitting eating our breakfast when I heard a scream from the basement: "You took my money! Give it back!"

Weary of having to broker endless fights, I wearily went to the top of the stairs. "Guys, don't take people's money! It's not nice! That's THEIR money, not yours."

Beat. Beat. Beat. Then, Rose #1 said: "Mom, we're playing Monopoly." Just the right touch of exasperation.

They also play Uno. Obsessively. Repeatedly. Notably, once, in church (the lady behind us was very offended - she got up and moved. Really, people. It's a UNITARIAN church. A little Uno won't kill you. And I say this as a lifelong Unitarian.). I sort of really hate Uno. It takes forever. The person who wins, gloats. The person who loses, screams and flings the cards everywhere. (Even me.)

The latest is War. They play War anywhere, anytime. They don't even need a full deck of cards. I did catch Rose #2 trying to stack her hand with aces - aces are high in War (DUH). Right now they are playing War at the foot of my bed. I love it that they can amuse themselves.

Happy Twelfth Anniversary to Me

2010-10-10T18:52:00.002-05:00

And my husband. We've had three children, two houses, several cars, several trips, one graduate degree (almost two - go honey!) and lots of wonderful times in the last 12. Here's hoping for 12 more, and then 12 after that, and then maybe even 12 after that.

I love you H!

Goodbye, Old Rusty

2010-10-06T21:35:00.005-05:00

15 years ago, in my salad days (when I was green in judgment), I bought a 1995 Saturn SL1. Thanks to my husband, it was a manual transmission. I did not know how to drive a manual transmission at the time I purchased the car, so my husband had to teach me. He was not my husband at the time. He still is today. If I hadn't mastered driving the stick shift, I'm not sure he would be.

Last night, we sold the car. We put an ad on craiglist on Sunday night, and sold the car by Tuesday. Just like that, a piece of history - gone.

I have lots of memories from that car (don't worry, they're all G-rated):

I remember driving Rose #1 over to her Guppy's in that car, singing a dumb song I made up (We're gonna go see your Guppy, your Guppy, your Guppy, we're gonna go see Guppy, right away. Your Guppy really loves you, she loves you, she loves you, Guppy really loves you, very much.)

I remember driving to Cincinnati, OH with my brother and sister to see our grandfather in that car.

I remember driving that car from our house in Como to law school on exam nights, and then after exams were over, to the McDonald's drive through for french fries.

Last night after we got back from the DMV from transferring the title, Rose #1 looked at me, and said, "I'm going to miss Old Rusty."

(It was a Saturn, made mostly out of plastic, but it was a little rusty in spots. I'm going to miss Old Rusty too.)

Around the House

2010-09-20T21:34:00.007-05:00

Rose #2 wants her own digital camera. I haven't actually priced digital cameras in awhile, but I think they are outside our child gift budget. So I haven't yet purchased one for her. Every now and then I let her use my camera, and tonight I sat down to delete the 91 photos she shot. I couldn't stand to let them all go, though...

My mother made a chair for each one of her grandchildren for their first birthday. Here are two of ours, carefully lined up by Rose #1 and Rose #2 in front of their messy closet. After someone close to you dies, one of the hardest things is all the "firsts" that you experience without them. My sister Heidi is expecting a baby in the next few weeks. I have been focused on how excited I am to welcome a new niece or nephew, and just in the past few days started thinking about how sad it is that my mom will never know this grandbaby. (She did know that this grandbaby was coming though, thankfully. Heidi knew in time to tell her before she died.)

But this grandbaby won't ever get a first birthday chair from Guppy. Maybe we should add that to our list of things we take over. Anyway, here are ours:

Rose #1 and #2 on the night of the photos were playing an elaborate game with their stuffed animals. Now, maybe all of you have kids who engage in spontaneous creative play all the time. You just can't turn around without bumping into a new world they created, or sometimes you can't find them because they are so engaged in their imagination-fueled world. Well, that ain't us. It is a rare night that the kids are engaged in almost anything besides 1) squabbling; 2) begging for snacks; 3) following me from room to room (yes, including the bathroom) or 4) doing anything they can to get out of a) showering, b) brushing their teeth or c) laying out tomorrow's clothes. When I get creative play, you're darn right I want to remember it! In that vein, here is Mr. Lion in his school portrait. The school being the Roses' School for Stuffed Animals.

The Roses enjoy photographing each other as well. Here's Rose #1 looking very chipper. She's only sans one tooth at this time, and I dare say that the front top two more than make up for the one that's missing. Holy rabbit teeth, Bat Man!

Rose #2's photographic interests extend to self-portraiture as well. I love her smiley eyes and her almost-grown-in front teeth:

And if this shot doesn't totally portray Rose #3, I don't know what does. The item she's holding? A MASCARA WAND, people. She's wearing her new dress and holding her mascara wand. (It's clear mascara, though.)

I do not know why my children found it necessary to take a photo of a basket of dirty laundry (and the wadded up kleenex on the floor behind it), but they did. Really, it sums everything up, doesn't it?

Note to self: Self, don't give camera to unattended children for extended periods.

Self: Even if it keeps them occupied for 30-45 minutes?

Note to self: Well, if it keeps them occupied for THAT long, I guess it's OK.

Summer, Sweet Summer

2010-09-12T07:00:00.003-05:00

Ah, summer. It seems so long ago. The Roses went to one week of day camp with their cousins. They LOVED it. Here are Rose #1 and her cousin with their counselor, "Ninja." (Aside - what a a COOL job for a college student. Being outdoors all summer with kids, goofing around, taking them swimming, etc.)

And Rose #2 and #3 with their cousin and counselor "Lucky." Who wouldn't consider themselves lucky to get bunny ears from Rose #2?

And all the cousins together. They are grubby and dingy and looking pretty happy.

Thanks Aunt Tonya for the pictures!