Chalice Lighter

Rose #1 is a Chalice Lighter. This is a really neat program at church where kids grades 3 - 6 participate in the worship service by lighting the chalice. She was "invested" as a Chalice Lighter a couple Sundays ago. Here she is smiling in the pew after the investiture. She has her Chalice Lighter pin on:

Two of the other girls that went through the program with her, Tess and Gwyneth, possed for a picture next to the, well, chalice!

This was one of the days I really wish my mom was still alive. She would have loved to see Rose #1 invested as a Chalice Lighter. I remember the day that I joined our church as a member; she was so proud and happy.

I have an observation to make about death, or more precisely about the sympathy that people express to you when a family member dies. They say: Your memories will sustain you. Or, Aren't we lucky we had as much time as we had with her. Or, Your mother will always be with you.

That's bulls**t. Memories don't sustain you. Yeah, maybe we're lucky we had that much time, but hell, I wanted more time. And one more comment: aren't I supposed to be able to feel my mother's presence in my life? Like feel her hand guiding me or her love in my heart? I have news for you - I got nothing. A big, fat, nothing.