Friends, Again. A Medley of Thoughts

I've been thinking about friends, since that's the theme for January. Another meaning of the word friends: Quakers. The Religious Society of Friends.

I have a cousin who went to Earlham College (and met the love of her life there). Earlham is a Quaker school. I think that Quakers have a lot in common with Unitarians (our family is Unitarian). They believe in the ministry of all believers, of equality before God (whichever god it is that you worry about being equal before), the light within. These sound familiar to me. One more redeemer, and all that.

• Aside: Rose #1 proclaimed very proudly the other day - "Hey, We're Unitarian!" Yes! I hope she continues to feel that way about her religious upbringing.

I digress from my topic: friends and Quakers. I feel sorry that I'm not closer with my cousin who went to Earlham. We're close in age; not in geography (she lives in Colorado). Our kids aren't close in age either. I wish I knew better how to stay in touch with people far away without seeming pathetic, like I don't have enough to do here at home. (I feel worried about seeming pathetic a lot. This may be holding me back.)

My brother and I had lunch a few months ago and I confided in him my I wish that I was in the popular group at church. (Popular! Again with the worrying about being popular!) Now it is quite possible that there IS no popular group at church, but it seems like there is. The overtures I have made to other women at church - women I teach Sunday School with, women who have kids in Sunday School with my kids - have not been very successful. After hearing this my brother, who is younger than me but quite wise especially about all matters to do with human interaction, had a very astute observation. To make friends, you have to seem like you are having fun. You can't hang around the fun people and hope to be invited into their circle: instead, you have to make your own circle of fun.

Here's to making a circle of fun in 2011. I am going to try to do it.

Happy New Year 2011! And, My Comments on Friends

Happy New Year to everyone. We were at my brother's house last night for a kid-friendly New Year's Eve party (ring in the New Year at 9:00 p.m.) and he wished me a happy 2011, adding that he hoped it would be better than 2010.

I second that notion.

The theme for Nablopomo for January is "friends." I have a New Year's resolution to be a better friend. To initiate friendships. To honor the friends I already have.

I have a comment about kids friendships: I hate playdates. I hate them for lots of reasons. I hate setting them up. I hate when we have friends at our house that I worry endlessly about the child guest getting hurt or sick at my house. What's THAT about? I've told other people about this particular fear and they think I'm nuts. (News flash: I am kind of nuts.) I hate worrying that my kids don't have enough playdates. I hate it when my kids call their school friends on the phone and I have to worry that they aren't going to be polite enough on the phone. I REALLY hate it when they hand me the phone and I have to chat with the heretofore unknown mother of the school friend.

There. I said it. Now what to do about it? I don't want my social ineptness to rub off on my children, although I already see it a bit in Rose #1. Rose #2 told me the other day that she really, really wants to be "popular." God save me from having to worry if my kids are POPULAR. Heck, I'm just going for 1) well-groomed, 2) healthy, 3) polite, and 4) has a friend or two to sit next to them at lunch.

I understand that by writing about one's neuroses, they might dissipate. We'll see if that works.

Guess what Rose #1 wished she got for Christmas...

On Christmas night we had a spot of sobbbing at our house. You see, Rose #1 has been wanting a Nineendo DS for a good long while, and so far Santa has not obliged. (Exhibit #1 of why: We didn't see her or her cousin at Christmas dinner at all - they were too busy playing DS.) Her cousin has one, and she really, really wants one.

So we have to think about ways that Rose #1 can earn $100 so she can buy her own Nintendo DS. So far I haven't come up with much. It's hard to earn money when you're 8 years old. She'll just have to content herself with playing her cousin's:

Merry Christmas Eve!

It's Christmas Eve, which means that it's Christmas Pageant day! All the Roses are in the pageant this year!

Rose #2 is a King's Page. She has a very important job as the head purple king's page. She has to carry the train of the purple king. This is a big responsibility. Doesn't she look up to the task?

Rose #3 is a cherub. She has been waiting and waiting to be a cherub, and yesterday she finally got to put on the cherub costume. She is very cherubic.

Here are the king's page and the cherub together. Rose #1 is in the children's choir and doesn't get to wear a costume. We'll get a shot of everyone together tonight at the real live show.

And my niece Beatrice is a green king's page. Isn't it great that she gets to be with her cousins in the pageant this year?

Merry Christmas Eve to everyone! I hope Santa's sleigh lands lightly on your roof tonight and many, many presents show up under your tree.

So thankful...

Thankful that we have a warm house this morning, when it's -2 and -22 windchill.

Thankful that my oldest baby made it home last night from skiing. Not my best parenting decision ever, to send her to skiing. I honestly did not realize how bad the roads were going to be as the day wore on and we got 15" of snow!

Thankful that my husband's car is a truck, has 4WD and the darn wheels are so high. He made it to the bus dropoff with zero problem last night to pick up our skiier.

Thankful that we had the sense to turn around yesterday midday when we decided (like FOOLS) to go to Macy's to see Santa. Also thankful that we somehow managed to get our minivan unstuck after we got it stuck. It involved me reversing onto Ayd Mill Road (stupid and dangerous) and then pulling over so H could get back in the car. We had our NIECE with us! I had three little girls in the car! I am very thankful we got back home.

Thankful that church is cancelled today. I don't remember the last time that church was actually cancelled due to snow, but I'll tell you that the side streets here in St. Paul are impassable until the plows show up, and our church is on a side street.

Thankful that we did our grocery shopping on Friday night. I'm usually not one of those people who run to the store when there is a storm coming, but I'm glad we did it this time.

Now I've gotta get back to work. I'm speaking this week at a web seminar and I have to finish preparing my remarks. I am thankful for the opportunity to do this speaking gig but of course I'll also be thankful when it's over...

Snowy Saturday...TODAY... BLIZZARD!!...Update!

This picture doesn't tell the whole story...

It is a veritable blizzard here. We tried to go out with Rose #2 and #3 to see Santa at Macy's and we got completely stuck exiting Ayd Mill Road. So we turned around and barely made it home. It is scary out there - very, very snowy and the driving conditions are awful.

We sent Rose #1 to ski school today, which seemed like a great idea this morning, and as the afternoon wears on seems worse and worse. I'll be much happier when I see her little face coming in the back door. Scary.

Update: Rose #1 is home! A very scary afternoon waiting to confirm she was safe. Thank goodness she got home all 100% fine (and sort of exasperated that I was worried!).

Snowy Saturday...Last Saturday...

Last Saturday it was snowy. So we went sledding!!

Here's Rose #2 and #3 after sledding, all snowy and tired, so they lay down in the snow.

I dragged them home from our neighborhood park in the sled. It was such a gorgeous snowy day, all sunny and beautiful.