And, The 4th of July, The Movie Version!

In case you loyal readers have wondered what my voice sounds like, here's your chance.  Lucky you.

Catching Up...July

Although it was 104 degree on July 4, we still did sparklers. Duh.  Rose #2 loved her sparkler, and did not consider it a lightsaber.  No, not whatsoever.

And Rose #3 just wanted to strut down the catwalk.  Er, sidewalk.

Rose #1 was happy.

The epic lightsaber/sparkler battle of 2012!

I must add to this blog that I am walking in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day, and in my infinite wisdom stupidity I did a 12-mile training walk on the 4th at 5:30 in the morning (I thought an "excessive heat warning" might be slightly less excessive at that time of day).  Silly me.  I was SHATTERED.  This is why there is no photograph of me enjoying the 4th - I would have looked like some sort of disaster.  (Unlike usual.)

Well, Happy Birthday to You, 6-Year-Old

It was June birthdays at MND tonight...and even though this young lady doesn't have her birthday for a couple more weeks, she got her presents from her Poppy tonight.  A WHOLE NEW OUTFIT!  Sundress, purse, bracelet, and pink shoes.  She LOVED it.  Went right in and changed her clothes.  After she was gone my dad and sister came right over to me and said:  "Where did she COME from?"  Nature or nurture?  I think nature in this case...

In related news, today was our summer nanny's first day of work.  In the category of first world problems, I am jealous of our nanny.  I am embarrassed to type this, but there it is.  I wish I was able to just play with my kids, not worry about 1) money, 2) logistics, 3) food, 4) shelter, 5) laundry, 6) organization, 7) landscaping, 8) thank you notes, 9) why the heck I still have a "make your own snow globe" in the top shelf of my built-in buffet, 10) what junk is lurking downstairs in the basement closet, and why can't I keep it clean, 11) the dirt in the corners of my house, 12) am I going to die without achieving my dreams, 13) why am I so slow to get things...you get the picture.

Of course, the questions remain - if I had the time to play with my kids, would I?  Or would I be so worried about the other things I wasn't doing if I had the time to play that it would make playing unpleasant?  

Sometimes I feel so tortured.  All of this triggered by a sweet picture of an innocent soon-to-be 6-year-old in a white sundress.  Isn't she a doll baby?

Happy Mother's Day

Me and Rose #3 walking in Guppy's Grove

 After dinner we went over to Guppy's bench to plant some more flowers.  We were pleasantly surprised to find that the Cherokee Park maintenance people had not mowed over the flowers we planted in April.

The planting crew

One of the pansies we planted in April

My tree climbing monkeys: Rose #1 and Rose #2

A view from the street - the bench and the flower ring surrounding

I am very thankful for my Roses and miss my mom so much.  I hope everyone had a happy mother's day.

Beautiful Flowers

On April 1, 2012 (no fooling) these beautiful flowers appeared in the sanctuary at church in loving memory of Katy Gray, who died on April 10, 2010.  We work to keep her memory alive.  I asked our flower coordinator to put me down for "Sunday closest to April 10" for the next five years.  Every Sunday when the ministers ask us to say the names of people we have brought with us, I always say "Guppy."  (For the last few months I have said "Guppy, Livi and Liam," but I think Livi and Liam are good now!)

I'm no photographer, more's the pity, but these are some pretty flowers, yes?  And here's Guppy's bench:

Sometimes I wonder if Mom would have thought all this grief is maudlin.  I worry that she would have, but I never talked to her about how she felt about losing her own mom.  I guess...grief is grief, right?  We can't get over it any more quickly than we do.  I know she knew we were going to miss her, and she was right.

Spring Daffodils

Rose #2 and a couple of her friends at after-school care found a daffodil, and one of the teachers sent me an email titled "We Love Your Kid."  That is a really nice message to get in the middle of the day. 

But...

I spend so much time agonizing over our life choices: we work too much.  We don't see our kids enough.  We don't get to spend a lot of family time together.  Rose #1's time at home is halfway over, people!  She is halfway to age 18!  (I know, she probably won't be moved out for good at age 18, but still.)  The time when they think that I hung the moon is about to pass us by.  That makes me really sad.

So when I see pictures like the above I am so glad to know that Rose #2 is searching out daffodils in the middle of the day, but oh, how I wish that I was there with her.

We're Still Here...Practicing Resurrection

Happy Easter!  This morning I was awoken by all three Roses, who had set their alarms for 5:25 a.m. (!!!) and crept down to the kitchen to make H and me a surprise breakfast!  Lightly toasted sourbread toast, Bran Chex, and apple slices.  Luckily they contained their excitement and didn't wake us up until 7:00.  Phew.  The breakfast was, well, delicious!

At our house the E.B. (that's what we call the Easter Bunny) leaves clues to where the Easter baskets might be found.  Each Rose had as many clues as she is years old:  5, 7 and 9.  There was some gnashing of teeth and some grumbling and some pleas for help, but in the end, all three found their baskets.  (See above.)

And, each had a chocolate bunny.  With bitten-off ears in each case.  Well, bitten-off now - they were intact in the package.

I rousted everyone out the door for the 11:00 church service.  Forcing the Roses to sit through church is like asking them to scrub the bathroom floor with a toothbrush or making them organize their clothing drawers:  an unlikely prospect, and certain to not go very well.  After Rose #3 dropped her "Kid's Activity" book and hymnal on the floor for about the 78th time, I almost lost it in the middle of service.  Luckily everything settled down and we made it.  The title of the sermon was "Practicing Resurrection."  I love that.  I also love that our ministers know that on Family Sunday when the kids stay in the worship service for the whole time, the sermon needs to be short.  7 minutes:  PERFECT.

We are about to head out to Cherokee Park to plant flowers at my mom's memorial plaque site and to have an Easter egg hunt (both my ideas, and I think they are fairly brilliant).  Then to dinner at Aunt Boo's.  We are practicing resurrection all the time, aren't we?  Keeping on with life even after terrible loss afflicts us.  Keeping up old traditions and making new ones.  Guppy, we miss you so, so much.  I know you would have loved an Easter egg hunt.  I wish you were there with us to see it.