Friday, July 18, 2008

The Pain of Separation

During the week I hardly ever see my kids. Like. Hardly. Ever. I am gone in the mornings before 5:30 (usually, sometimes it has been later lately because I have been up late working at night) but always long before anyone gets up. I get home at 5:30 in the evening, if I am lucky, or later if I am not.

How can I bear the time apart? I hardly know my youngest daughter, even though I gave her life and nursed her for 11 months (yes, I would have kept nursing her longer, until age 2, or 3, or even 4 if she wanted...but she had other ideas!). I never see her. When I do see her- all the Roses really - it is all about business - get dinner on the table, get cleaned up, sweep the floor, throw a load of laundry in the washer - and then it is bedtime. If we are lucky we get a few minutes together reading stories.

And what will happen when the kids get busier? Rose #1 is staring first grade in the face at a school that is going to challenge her. I want to be there for her homework. Rose #2 is starting 4-year-old kindergarten! I wish I could go to her classroom to read and help. I am missing so much, and I can't stand it.

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